maybe if i did things differently
maybe the outcome wouldn't have been this bad
maybe if i stayed with you mom
maybe my little brother wouldn't be dead, maybe this all my fault,
maybe if i just forgave him for intruding my body
you wouldn't hate me as much mom for putting him away
maybe if i forgave you for all the abuse over the 15 years you wouldn't hate me
maybe if i was better with dealing with things wouldn't think of me as a problem dad,
maybe if i was normal you wouldn't yell as much dad
maybe if i wasn't 20 pounds over weight you wouldn't make fun of me, maybe if i died you understand i do have problems that can't be fix in 365 days
maybe if i didn't  have ptsd you wouldn't complain about taking me to therapy, just maybe.....

I am powerful even if I feel weak                                
the words I choose to speak, are not for you to illustrate
I'm not going to wait for you choose my fate
I may lose, but you'll never win again
My soul is mine for me to keep
not for you to reap
So leave, Before I become to powerful

You were suppose to be my best friend
I lend you my heart when your parents torn yours to apart
I told my secrets to you,
I said my deepest fears, I told you about my past
I let you dive in to the waves of my pain
Told the horrible secrets about my childhood
I gave all my trust even though
I had no reason to
but you left like they always do
Let my secrets drip right out of you
like a ****** nose
I know how this goes
I know how this'll end, but in the end
You'll get the bitter end

Why don't you smile?
You should probably lose some weight, run a mile
why does it matter?
I am me, i have flaws but why try to shatter
Everything about me
I am not skinny nor am i fat
I am not ugly nor am I out standing
I am not asking for your opinion
I don't want your recognition
I am happy, so let me be