The mind commits suicide long before the body does

i'm telling you.
the clouds were meant for the ground.
but they hung themselves.

You remind me of what it feels like
to know the smell of pancakes are being made,
when first waking up.
That single letter reminds me of a Mother's face after labor,
the eyes of her holding the child,
Have you ever layed in the grass and gaze at a sky full of stars?
Every smile and glare with happiness,
is what that one letter,
makes my mind recall.
I saw a picture of you,
in me today.
The knot you tied on my tie was off by just a bit,
you always said perfect does not exist.
There they were,
My eyes shining with you
I was smiling and your teeth were white.
That morning,
my toothbrush was made with toothpaste,
before I got to the bathroom,
you had it ready to go.
Like the letter that will never disappear,
I will always have to brush my teeth.

Bashful Liar.
The world is evil,
You took the walls inside my heart the day you left.
Under my eyelids are your initials,
I wake up,
Only to think about you.
I used sharp glass to carve our date on my forearm,
I sent my veins the wrong message.
My good weaves all have doubt,
They vent on paper when I write forever,
my veins notice as I smoke.
My smile was light to your eyes,
as your eyes would light,
My eyes would tear with joy.
Catching that same guilty taste on my tongue.

I'm walking down the fishing pier at this moment,
I'll dip the jar I have been using to save the tears I shed for you,
I'm watching them go down into the water now,
Like my body going towards hell,
when it dies because of you.

The feelings of addiction
What ****** up feelings they are

Pleasure with pain
Pain with pleasure

It is never ending revolving feelings
shame
happy
resentment
joy
pity
excitement
mad
sad
glad

you cry
you laugh
you lie

The stories you will tell
The people you will manipulate
The loved ones you will hurt

And what is ****** up about it
you don't even care
not even about yourself

you say no one understands
what one goes through
that's called being selfish

you don't have to fight the battle all alone
lose that selfish pride and find your home

lose your travesty of rage and hate

yes
there is a better life
yes
it will be a battle
yes
it will be hard
yes
you do get over it
yes
your life will change
yes
no is a complete sentence

if someone offers just say **no