You're sleeping next to me
the time on your old digital clock
lights up the room in neon green
6:23 am

my head hurts from crying myself to sleep
but you already knew that

You're sleeping next to me
or trying to rather,
the sun fill the room as the clock
the clock just stares at me
8:47 am

I should have left before you'd notice.
I don't want to see you
I don't even want to talk about what you said

6 months ago I promised i'd stop writing about you,
here i am
or here we are

here i am
there is no we
there hasn't been
but somehow even in my dreams your words
your words haunted me
"... I just don't love you anymore."

Two words,
that don't mean much.

Put them together and you
gain a little more meaning.

These words,
nor any other i could write,
would ever be able to describe
that which i feel for you.

You make me happy,
and adding a title to our happiness
makes it all the more sweeter,
and i could not tell you why.

But i don't need to,
because i can feel it,
and i try my best to make you feel it
and ******* it, i think i do.

I'm falling in love with you
But I can't help but want him
I'm human and I'm young
He looks at me and I feel at home
But I talk to you and I feel free

He hurt me more than I can say
I never cried over him
Not until I felt my heart for the first time
In I don't know how long

But you
I didn't realize it but you picked up my heart
And gave me the shattered pieces
And I pieced it slowly
You talked me through it
And you held my hands while I held my heart
And with you I can't stop smiling

But tonight
When I saw him
I wanted to kiss him
I wanted to hold him down
I wanted nothing more than for him to say
I love you

So what do I do?

This is your fault
You're the one saying all these things
Acting like it won't affect me
Treating me like I'm a stone wall
That I don't hear the words you say
Or read the words you type
It was bound to affect me
And turn my feelings for you

I'm becoming jealous
and irrational.
I become worried when I don't hear from you
I want you to say my name
Or think about me constantly
I want you to tell me all things you do
Or tell me something new
Babe
Sweetie
Gorgeous
Call me all of it
And don't stop

You boop my nose,
and kiss my mouth.

You hold my hand,
and put my mind at ease.

You leave bruises on my neck,
and make me happy.

I do these things for you too,
and it makes you happy.

I like you.
Yes, quite a bit I do.

Just about as much as I like the stars,
and quite a bit more than I like cars.

I like you as much as a like the trees,
it's safe to say that you're the bees knees.

I like you more than I like drugs,
and one of my favorite places to be,
is wrapped in one of your hugs.

This is my collection
The paintings stand for those who won
The statues are those who lost
My trophies are locked in cases
My medals are hung on the wall
Those rings aren't for touching
Those awards are supposed to be hung
Dust the floor
And wipe the ceiling
Don't forget to clean the glass
And please don't breathe on the ones with diamonds
Stop starring at that
Put that down
No you can't touch anything
What was that?
No go through that door
If you have any questions, please ask


Wait
One more thing
I forgot to tell you something important
Do you see that door?
The one with the locks and deadbolts
Never go inside
Don't let anyone else inside
In fact
Find a curtain
Let's cover that door
So no one will be tempted to enter


What was that?
The door is unlocked?
But who could have gotten in...
Well go in there!
Find out who it is


What did you say?
He has a key?
But
*how

The bed was rocking so,
the movement of our bodies
caused my Rosary to fall on your face.

I'm not sure all that I want for you,
or all that I want from you,
but there are a few things I am certain of.

From you I would like a thousand more kisses,
two thousand more hugs
and maybe three more thousand kisses.

For you I want happiness. I want you to not have
to worry about him, be it your father, your friend,
your could-have-been lover.

But I understand that you need to figure out
how to not worry about these things on your own.
I can only wrap my arms around and hope to help.

For you I want happiness.
I want to be there for you
and for you I want happiness.

I don't want
to keep running from my problems.
I want
to stop getting high every time I feel any form of
guilt
remorse
sadness
anger.

I want to stop whining
and I want to start doing.

I want to think about flowers
and French music
and I want to think about you
but I can't and I hate myself for that.

I hate that I created all my problems
and here you are,
the most lovely human being I've ever met
and you didn't do anything to deserve your problems
and I can't ******* help you with them.
I can't help you with them
because I get high anytime a negative doubt lingers
and I get drunk if I can't sleep
and I cry if I'm out of ***** or dope
and I really really like you and I only want whats best for you
and I want to do everything I can to make you happy.
I want to pick you ten thousand flowers,
all of which will pale in comparison to you,
and I want to write you ten thousand poems,
none of which will be as grand as yours,
and I want to give you ten thousand kisses,
because you deserve them
and ******* it,
I like kissing you.

Above I said that I can't, but I lied.
I can, I will, I am.
I'm getting better