I want to fall in love again,
But only with you.

lost,

left behind my loving tendencies
and traded them for substance abuse
for a pill would never lay it's hand on me
or slander me in front of my friends

it acted as a pillow
a cushion upon which i became too reliant

- how many times do you have to be pushed down before you finally say i've had enough -

where is the breaking point?
if someone pushed you off a cliff, but didn't mean it, would you just climb back to the top & have no hard feelings?

when do you speak up?





once it's too late?

Even though you’re
975 miles away
I know you will be
My valentine someday

Why must we contain
our bodies
from one another?

Why do we hide every inch in plastic so thick
it makes us ***** from the chemicals.
Why do we put up with everyone telling us
we are perfect
just the way we are
when in that moment we are covering up our lumps and bumps
with acidic powder that we have inflicted upon ourselves

why
does society tell us that we're wrong
just the way we are
that we need this cosmetic
and that?
and whats worse is,
we are society
we tell ourselves we aren't good enough
until we're thin
with *******
and a tiny waste
but big hips
and long legs
and big lips
and

It's too much
and I
for one
am done

my stomach is in knots
and i feel so sick thinking about you
holding anyone that isn’t me
and i don’t understand why you thought it’d be a good idea
to tell me that you’re falling asleep at night
with another girl in your bed,
even if you’re not kissing her goodnight,
i tried to drown out my sobs all day with
modern vampires of the city on vinyl,
but it still feels like someone
sunk fangs in my lungs

it’s only been a week, the cuts from your nails
from holding my heart so tight
are still fresh
and i never asked you to stop,
i never told you i wanted to try
to be more than friends again,
i never tried to paint your hands red,
but all you could seem to do is defend
yourself and repeat that you’ve done nothing wrong
“you said we’re just friends
you said we’re just friends
you said we’re just friends”

and we are just friends
i just wanted you to understand and acknowledge
that it still hurts

and you can say you’re sorry, you said sorry,
but i’m sure she’s tucked in beneath your sheets right now
and you’re still repeating in your head
i’ve done nothing wrong
i’ve done nothing wrong
i’ve done nothing wrong
we’re just friends
we’re just friends
we’re just friends

and i’m glad you’re comfortable,
i’m glad you know you’ve done nothing wrong,
i’m glad you have someone to hold at night,
i’m glad thoughts of me don’t rip your heart out,
i’m glad you’re okay with being just friends

i’m glad you’re fine,

but, i’m sorry,
i’m not.