I remember
sitting on that blue couch
tears rushing to my eyes
because I couldn't understand what was
really happening
this new building,
new home
new people
yes, it was all a dream
a dream come true
but maybe a nightmare
and the possibility
of the night terrors
is what filled my empty heart
with fear.
Later,
I sat on the same couch
but I was so different
the night terrors come,
and gone
and my heart filled with
hot fast beating blood.

This is the first time I shall say it,
but hopefully never the last,
but this is the first time I've said it
on paper
don't let me forget what it's worth
I love you
more than anything I can think of
right now
And though this is cheap, and stupid
and cheesy and cliche
I have to tell you how,
and now,
and why I feel this beautiful way.

Your green eyes are a physical punch
to my gut
I double over, choking and coughing
on sheer incomparable beauty.
Your eyes, oh, oh,
they will be my soon and sudden death.
your laugh, your voice,
the grumble-rumble-gravel of every word you say
oh,
oh,
oh, make it stop!
I am paralyzed,
and lost!

I am befuddled and confused
as soon as you walk in
I cannot understand anything
my heart flops like a dying fish
I get hot and bothered
bothered that I am now hot
and bothered by your sheer existence
O, kiss me now
let's get it over with
let me love you.

You
Can't see the tumbling, swirling
Panicking, sweating
Trembling, faltering
Absolute mess inside me.
We simply stand there
Bright wind biting at our bodies
Your murmuring mouth
Speaking to me
– to me!
O, the wonder
To watch you stand beside me
O the brilliant pain of it;
The flickering, flashing,
Hot, slicing thrills in my heart
O such a simple night,
Such a starry night above us
To hear you say,
– to me –  
“Just alright?”
“Just alright.”
Just as if you cared
At all.

I will not be proud of anything of my own
for now I am nothing without you
I know that I have tried and I have strived
to be the greatest man, to be the strongest
to be the wisest and the best
to be kind and to be true

I know that all I need to be
I need to be for you
and you love me like a shining star
loves the moonless night
so that it may add its brilliance
to the velvet backdrop of the sky

I love you like a Bedouin loves the sand-sea deserts
like a wild and windswept dune
I love you like a drowning man loves the shore,
like birds love their feathers and
fish love their scales
For my love is not a moment
not a sigh, or a glance, or a poem
my love is my blood and my life
and this love, love, love,
it's truth
it's brilliance
its honest and wonder and fire
burning and renewing me each day
-  my love will never let you go.

Things for God always come
I n the
M oments that's right, just wait & be patient
E verything will be put in its place, the way God planned it