Pointing the gun on my head.
Thinking that it could be a big mistake.
No one would care If I am dead.
Maybe they will celebrate.
I take one last breath,
knowing that they will
find me in my bed.

I glance down at the bottle of pills,
Consume a little bit more of it and it kills
I don't see my life going forward from this point,
Tired of being spun around like the useless coin.
Wonder how do these pills taste,
a little by little I put them all in my mouth
and hope to forgive myself for this big mistake.

The razor's on my wrist.
Today I am gonna quit.
My memories are shattered.
My face is battered.
Tired of being called ugly
Tired of being called fat.
I want to die but no one knows that.
Tomorrow I will be gone.
Find me, among those shattered bones.
Meeting people like me.
and people who don't  judge.
My death won't be an answer to this.
I keep the razor down.
Thinking it was a big mistake.

A/N: I wrote this when I was like 12 so yeah its kinda ******...

I can see that you're stuck in a rut.
You are desperate to get out,
but you choose to sulk.
The darkness inside clouds up your mind.
Can't think straight
Put on that fake smile
People tell you to stop being stressed
They don't know that they are the reason for this mess.
They have seen you smiling,
but never cared about the tears inside.
You tell them you're okay
when you're thinking of giving up the fight.
One day everything will be fine
your smile won't be fake anymore
We were beaten up
but we're still whole.
In the end, we are broken machines waiting to be mend.
I am a few steps to closer to recovery
and I believe I will make it to the end.

We are so far away from each other,
but something keeps us close.
Honey, we are not gonna last forever
and this isn't a joke.
Seeing your name flash makes my day
but can't you see that I am scared?
If I come any closer,
it would be a big mistake.
I know I made promises
and couldn't fulfill all of them
but darling you don't know
That my world is a complete mayhem.
If I come closer,
Will you welcome me in your trap?
The day I say forever,
Will you leave me and never come back?
The silence between us deafens me.
When I think about you,
something inside suffocates me.
I want you to look past this ugly body of mine.
Take my heart which beats for you,
and look me in the eye.
Can't look past the shame and guilt.
Deep down inside I know the chances are slim.
And I hate myself for not knowing that loving you was a sin.

Everytime I look at you,

My heart skips a beat.

In this lost city of dreams,

we are the ones who roam here without a clue.

It's weird how we never talked

but now we stay up every night

Hoping to see each other's face in the light,

and watch you hold my heart which you caught.

Let's light this place with the fire in our eyes

We are lost birds but yet we continue to fly.

The spark of rebellion inside us refuses to fade.

Go ahead and try,

We will never be trapped in chains.

Maybe someday we might forget how we used to be

begging to the cold hearted for mercy.

Memories of yesterday will live on in our minds,

we vowed to change the world

and never pick up a fight.

So here's to us and promises to last forever,

it may take us a while

but we will escape from this glimmer.

Surrounded by backstabbers in this big cold world.
Every time I watch it swirl and turn,
I see the people bound with a curse.
Memories of yesterday in my eyes are nothing but a blur.

Everyday I wear mask over my charred face.
Don't look me in the eye, I never belonged to this place.
I am tired of living in this fake heaven.
It's too loud here to hear the angel's bell.
When the darkness fell,
I screamed for someone to take me to my own sweet hell.

The devil has heard my scream
and consoled me when I was sad.
He has made me a ton of promises
and trust me, they aren't that bad.
He might have lured me into a trap,
but now there is no going back.
I remember when night fell,
I went back to the devil and begged him to take me back to my own sweet hell.

Look me in the eye and you will see nothing ignite.
The war has extinguished the fire which burned bright.
Even the devil screamed in fear when he saw the ghosts inside of me.
I told him not to worry as I am a victim of a sweet old melancholy.
I saw all of them come to me and rip me to shreds.
It sure does feel good in my own sweet hell.