There are ten reasons that I know I am well and truly in love with you.

1) I’m binge watching poetry! Not because you’re a poet, nor am I. But because something has awoke in the pit of my stomach. A flicker at first, a small flame licking at my frozen bones. Trying to thaw out the trauma from those who trespassed before you. I realise, you never trespassed, you were welcome all along.

2) Three years on, the small flame has engulfed my whole being. Powerful and raging! I’m all consumed and obsessive, my tongue writes and my fingers grasp to words like they’re the only thing that can quell this inferno. Like If I can find the right ones they’ll crash over me like a Tsunami reviving a dessert.

3) When the silence falls I forget the fire still burns, like someone has taken my oxygen and I can’t breathe. There is just embers, lying in wait. In these times I don’t know if I’m the dessert or the Tsunami. I guess that depends on what you want from me. A parting of my coping mechanism hinged knees, or a trek across my arid heart.

4) It’s so easy to be with you. As easy as, eating an entire family sized bar supposedly made for sharing, but far less easy to share. As easy as sleeping 12 hours during a depressive episode. As easy as looking into the early morning light on a perfectly autumnal day and daydreaming about what colour our wedding will be.

5) We are birds of a feather. So you say. I imagine a phoenix, rising up from the pain to fly and sore and dance among the stars over and over again. When I look at you only mythology and magic can explain your existence for only Gods and Goddesses could create a mind as beautifully captivating as yours.

6) The overwhelming feeling you get from seeing sunsets, or clear nights, or standing under ancient wise trees. The feeling of being totally in awe and captivated and small. Like the ocean allures you into falling and leaving your inhibitions behind. You forget just how helpless you’re going to be, blinded by the beauty. Forgetting, the ocean simply cannot love you back.

7) I remember little things, like how you don’t like tea. I’m grateful for big things like you can confide in me. I look forward to seeing you, even when we have no plans.

8) To me you are a lullaby, my anxiety and fears drift off to sleep when you’re around. I wish I could lay with you forever, just bask In your presence and savour the delicious delight of simply being human.

9) I’m not going to edit these words, raw and untouched. But I won’t tell you the whole story, I won’t even show you this. “too much truth can confuse the facts, make you sound insincere”

10) These are 9 reason I know I’m well and truly in love with you.

10! I only need one reason to know I’ll love you forever.
*This is unconditional. This is unrequited. *
I can forever dream, free from the vicious grasp of reality. My delusions of loving you will never be spoiled. And if daydreaming is as close as I’ll ever get to you then I’m going to start sleeping on the floor, drinking caffeine before bed, watching horror movies after dark.  Because even though its only in my mind, in my waking hours, this love is my favourite part!