I don't believe in having a clean room. I don't believe in having a perfect complexion, or always having the right thing to say at the right time.
Because for me, beauty is in the chaos of everything.
Those times when people get home so drunk that they leave on their clothes and don't take off their makeup. They wake up with crinkled hair and a messy look on their face, confused. When people are in their most innocent state, so completely consumed with a feeling that everything else fades. When they aren't trying to be someone their not, not trying to keep up the facade of being the person with a clean room and a made-up bed. The people who are crying so much that there's spit and tears everywhere, but keep on crying. I fall in love with people in their most chaotic moments, because those to me are the beautiful.

1,            2,            3,

what is wrong with me?

4,             5,            6,

i guess i'm just a *****.

7,             8,            9,

it's alright, leave me behind.

1,             2,            3,

that's how it was always supposed to be.

they tremble in fear, perspiring, shaking, shuddering.
for these hands are terrified.

not for the things that would seem obvious,
not a serial killer, or a deadly disease, or a difficult test

these hands, they are afraid of their owner.

because they know what she will do with them
when her heart is too heavy
and the tears flood into an ocean

as she draws her pain with the blades
they can't stop her.
they can't convince her she's better than this,
that it isn't worth her death.

these hands can only shake and tremble in fear.

I tripped the other day
Then fell onto my knees
As soon as my skin collided with the concrete
I knew I was in trouble
Out poured the blood, all the way down to my toes
Staining the ground and wetting my eyes

And that was how it felt when I first met you

I've always wanted to be naked in front of you
Not naked in a way you would think
Without the clothes and jeans
But naked
Without all the secrets and walls
To let you in to my soul
For you to see my chaotic thoughts
To take a glimpse at my deepest fears
To marvel at my arduous dreams
To laugh at my embarrassing moments
To cry at my forlorn stories

After this, know that
This is the most intimate moment
I can share with you
For I have never let anyone
See me this naked