You don’t decide who
Will make your heart race.
The corners of your lips just
Upturn so suddenly
That you only notice your smile
When you step forward and feel
The cement  pieces
Of a shattered frown
On the ground beneath your feet.

like the air is being squeezed out of my lungs,
cheeks growing hot,
tears springing to my eyes
as i bite down on my tongue, hard.
and just like that, you're there
tapping my shoulder,
searching my face with worry once you realize
i'm not
actually
fine.
and then you walk with me,
then you talk with me,
talk me down from the ledge of my anxiety,
make me forget i was even
on the ledge.
but then, just like that
you hug me goodbye
and it all comes flooding back-
the fear and the heart rate
and the overwhelming
sadness
when i know i promised myself
i would stop letting other people be my happiness. i can not
let you be my happiness.
-a.c.b