Sing with me,
I've slept with bloodshot eyes
I've dreamt of a sunrise
that erases everything  
Oh, every thing

Move with me
You won't have to be alone
Wrap your hand around a microphone
And sing with me until the sun comes

Sleep with me
Talk to me about yourself all night
We'll grow tired as the dawn bites
And lay side by side,
with no where to hide

Too tired-
we can pretend to be dead
Too bad it's all in my head
It's all in your head
We'll never be dead

when i feel the dull burn of a car window rolled down in 50 degree weather, when i am showing someone else my favorite books and films, when a boy is holding one hand and a cigarette is holding my other, i will think of someone who tried to better themselves and that it's okay if it isn't because of me.

when i approach my first day of college and there is a hand held out to me in an attempt to meet my acquaintance or a nerve-calming crack at the teacher by an upper classman, i will take that as an invitation to get right what i didn't in high school.

when i find a friend that will take me to the hottest parties a suburban chemical factory can hold, but who won't sit outside and wait the 40 seconds i have left of my cigarette to keep me company, i will gently decline and decide that i deserve better.

when i hear a sound as demanding as a freight train cutting slowly through the calm small-town winter night, i will think of the conversations between me and an old dear friend, on a front porch lit by a giant christmas star. i will smile fondly and choke back the nostalgia.

when i think of my adventures through the year 2014, although achingly transient, i owe it to myself not to pull my hair over what could have been, but instead pull my arms around the people who deserve it, and hug a little tighter, love a little harder, and demand a lot better.

sometimes i wonder if god keeps a record
of all the times i have been left,
all the times i have been unable to leave.
i wonder if he thinks to himself,
"when will she learn?"
as if he feels my heartache too.
i picture god with a furrowed brow,
hunched over a typewriter,
beginning me again and again,
a mountain of crumpled paper at his feet.
but somehow -
he always ends up at the same point in the story
where i am all ****** palms
and half-hearted hallelujahs
propped up on bruised knees.
spitting up blood & teeth at his feet screaming,
"IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT?"
but he doesn't answer.
and i catch myself wondering if the silence
is his way of punishing me for making a deity out of you.
after all, the bible says he is a jealous god.
i could've sworn there was a verse somewhere
that said you weren't allowed to love anyone other than me.
but now that i think about it,
i probably took it out of context.
if i could add a parable to those already existing,
it would be how your chest
felt like church under my head,
and how i thought to myself,
"this is how it would be if he loved me back."
or how you fled my bedroom like a crime scene.
i am still bleeding.
i won't tell you how many times
i cracked my heart in half
trying to be what you wanted.
how my lips on your skin felt judas.
now i am waiting for god to begin me once more,
hoping he'll leave you out of the plot this time
because i don't think i could stand to lose you again.
see, rumor has it he knew you'd leave
and has been trying to make it up to me
since before we'd even met.
my song is one of repentance.
the wood finish from abandoned pews
rotting under my fingernails.
i made sacrifices you didn't ask for.
i have never known
whether my inability to abandon people
is more a strength or a weakness
but so far everyone i've ever loved
has turned into an exit wound,
and myself into a flickering no vacancy sign.

- m.f.

the smell of coffee and sweets lingers around the room
the sound of women and men conversing
the sound of responsibility
the sound of friendliness
the realization that everyone is scared comes quickly
as people talk about their lives it makes me realize
people are more scared then "Fine"
people go to collage to make their parents happy
but really all they want to do is live their life
instead of being trapped inside a school for 30% of their lives

I agree that learning is a huge part of life
but sitting inside a class room learning what its like outside just doesnt seem right
I believe that you should go out
you should make things happen
learn from the things that you do
not the things others do
open your eyes

i want your garden
sprout from the earth
breathe you in
consume all of you

i want to feel
green in my feet
in between my toes
it can't be beat

the sweetest smell
it's like the fuel
i know it all
a little too well

the warm embrace
what is this place?
it seems you've left
without a trace

who are you now
you've left me again
i feel the fear inside
purer than the water
that brought us here
it's beginning to get to me

in italy, there were fascinating times while reminiscing about how mesmerizing the feminine foreign specimen populace.
gazing at feminine foreign beauties i saw while staring at the multitudes beyond them made me know they were a perfect ace.

a monastery would educate me in the clergy as i walked up steps, my firm grip ceased to coexist with my ecclesiastical tomes and they went off steps that were steep.
a foreign gentle *** appears out at the corner of my eye behind a ruined wall, and for a minute, she bit her index finger nail in accordance with her beautiful white teeth.

as soon as her eyes connect with my eyes, i knew there was a visual connection going on between us two; the attention to details, the physical aspect of ****** human interest.
we continued to look at each other for over an hour and i had such an attraction to this young tan brunette, brown-eyed foreigner who had a t-shirt logo of a moon crest.

You enticed me with a voice like sugar, slowly coating every corner of my mind. Seduced i was by the movements of your body like waves on the ocean. You bound me with hair like snakes of fire crawling their way through my soul. You Keep me happy with the joy that I feel whenever you laugh or are having fun. You stole my heart and were the gentlest Person in the history of the world with it. You Drew me in with your locks of red and bosoms aplenty. While we were in Agressive relations the entire world seemed to dissapear other than me and you for 10 minutes to 5 hours plus. You consumed me mind, body and soul and i tried to consume you mind, body and soul. Then when we were all done i felt like it was my fault but i realize it was you just spreading your wings to go consume another never killing only draining. Always remaining with a chunk of my heart and I with yours. We will forever be a part of each other and i will always love you. Besides the stars say it and so shall it be.