I should be happy.

I woke up alive and well,
I should be happy.

I have new books to read,
I should be happy.

I have 490 songs on my iPod,
I should be happy.

I have good grades in school,
I should be happy.

I have friends who I can talk to and fangirl with,
I should be happy.

I'm young, I have my whole life ahead of me,
I should be happy.

I should be happy,
I'm not happy.

(a.d)

It hurts.
I know too much.
I'm on the border of sanity and its opposite.
I'm with my friends and thinking
"What if they knew?"
Their lives would change.

Maybe it would be better if I forgot everything.
But how?
I talk to them everyday.
Perhaps the summer will dull my mind.

I used to completely disagree with this quote.
I realize I have been manipulated.
I agree
*"Ignorance is bliss"

Just to know I can't get a girl,
stabs my heart like a sword.
Girls are like climbing a mountain,
when you get to the top you get love.
Sometimes it takes a while
but other times its an easy climb.
I must have been heading up but got hit with a rock avalanche.
Now I am at the base of the mountain.
**Crippled.

Swaying
side to side.
Head bobbing
up and down.
Nice warm feeling
freezing your chest.
Agree to anything
and everything.

Conscious afterwards,
hungover, wondering
What did I do last night?
Until the police arrive.

Chest swelling,
mind blown
as two eyes stare at the percentage.
Jump up and down,
like a frog.
Squeal if you want,
enjoy the moment.