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 Mar 2016 JAM
Nick Moser
I could never figure out why I never fit in.
Or why every girl I liked never liked me back.
Or why my dad never loved me.
Or why my mom had to be taken away from me at 17 years old.

There's a lot of things I never understood.

But now, I don't understand why these things are happening to me.
Why do I sit here every day hating myself while everyone else is having the time of their lives?
Why do I sit here every ******* day surrounded by sadness and every one else has happy days like it's the ******* TV show all over again?
Why do I sit here and suffer through so much **** all the while no one bats a ******* eye to it?

All these questions and I'm still hopelessly searching for answers.

But all I need is a savior.
A miracle.

I just need something.

I can't keep being the ugly fat-*** that no girl will ever like.
I can't keep being the manic depressive 19 year old who is paranoid over every little thing.
I can't keep being the shy and awkward guy that has no friends because  he's too afraid, too ashamed, and too much of a loser.
I can't keep watching girl after girl that I have feelings for fall in love with another guy.
I can't keep sitting in my dorm all alone and depressed waiting for something to happen.

Please, please, please.
Just let something good happen for once after a whole 1 year, 3 months, and 16 days of bad.
Of worrying.
Of crying.
Of crippling depression.
Or being alone.

I just need some help.

I just need some answers.
 Mar 2016 JAM
Jay G
Memories
 Mar 2016 JAM
Jay G
There she was, unrelenting eyes bold like midnight bonfires. There I was, small, insecure, rotting wood on a beach side. She asked me to dance, and I hesitated bound between desire and humility. Her mouth contorted into a smile, and my heartbeat ran as wild stallions toward the cliff. One last good fight, one last dream to keep me alive.

There she stood, porcelain hands glowing by the porch lights. There I stood, brooding along with the shadows of my past lives. She asked if love was all we should live for. I laughed, of course not my dear. But her love was the fire in my sorrowful heart. Dandelions danced in moon light when our lips met for a single time.

Lightning cracked like a whip and rain fell to break us apart, indoors the incessant babble drove me back into the dark, my moon was gone. Now I wander these empty streets, with warm whiskey and derelict cigarettes, remembering the warmth by the porch lights; the touch that never had a name. I lost her and myself all the same.

And then the headlights came.
 Mar 2016 JAM
grumpy thumb
He is a hurricane
and blows me away.
I'm trying to hold on to you,
but how can I compete with that?

He is a rainbow
his colours block out my shades.
I try to sketch a future for us,
but how can I compete with that?

He's a genius
makes me a babbling fool.
Trying to figure out why you'd ever want me.
How can I compete with that.

But he'll never understand what it's like
to count every second a blessing
cos you're in his life.
And he'll never stay awake every night
knowing dreams will never be
as sweet as you by his side.
And he'll never love you
with the passion that I do.
Tell me,
how can he compete with that?
 Mar 2016 JAM
nivek
Sometimes the sky knocks on your window
and you have to admire her persistence
in the face of all this deafness.
 Mar 2016 JAM
Mateuš Conrad
anti-narcissism,
painters with self-portraits,
the damnable face used
to kindred of inanimate things
taken for granted via still-life or impressionism,
damnable visage, yet
not exactly a finite banality of narcissism and acting,
it’s just there, if it isn’t being bosomed by
kissing it might as well be painted,
shame to leave it to simply frown,
or undue the english stiff-upper lip with
the fisherman’s hook, that phenomenon
of the fisherman’s / elvis’s upper lip aha hum hum:
it’s a twitchy eye when you mind the nerves
and just say: i’m in r.e.m. stages of parkinson’s:
rapid eyelid movement: got a joke coming
with the tourists, find your face in the throng
and give it four walls, a floor and ceiling and a campfire.
 Mar 2016 JAM
mark john junor
let me slip away into sleep now
let me open my dreamers eyes in restless slumber
slip away to a dream of summer long ago
to walk the paths that only boyhood knew
to be once more the manchild beholding
all the world within my grasp
all the mysteries to be conquered
to be the hero for all the world to see
this sleeping world gives glimpses of itself as i awaken
the steps of roosevelt school
footsteps echoing on the ornate marble
laughing clear and clean
without worry or taint
let me slip away into sleep once more
let me fly among the stars
in wonderful adventure
let me run like the wind
free once more
free
 Mar 2016 JAM
The Dedpoet
Echoes in a mist of words
                                   Echoes
Through the verse laid like light
                                   The luminous
Behaviour shredding the shadows
                                    The poet
Becomes liquid in the foliage of life
                                     They cannot see
The reflectors of the inner words
                                       A poems life
Is a scattered spectacle of past apparitions
                                        The body
Of words fills in the eye's void
                                        This phrase
Is the final perception of this piece

Surround yourself with words.
 Mar 2016 JAM
NeroameeAlucard
The pressure to please
Is a CID, Creatively Induced disease
It hurts when you pour
Your heart and soul into your art
And the audience rejects it
It feels like a bullet tearing you apart

The self doubt sets in
"What did I do wrong? "
Can't they see what's within?"
"Am i losing my way? "
"Should I give up today? "

So to offset this problem be your own solution
Understand that you can't please everyone, and to try is a date with a mental institution
Just do what you love, and others will see the glow
Now when you've become great, all but you will know
 Mar 2016 JAM
JR Rhine
what an eerie night
                               where wind whistles through the
                                                                           trees
                                   whose branches snare
                                                         and
                                                 snarl in the moonlight.
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