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529 · Oct 2014
i cannot take it anymore
a Oct 2014
I can't take it anymore.
Body pounding, heart stopping, this frozen fire unwinding.
And I'm feeling faint.
As the world's a-turnin' and I'm lying here burnin'.
'Cause no one knows,
and no one feels
and no one listens
anymore.
I can't take it anymore.
i just cannot take it anymore
517 · Apr 2016
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a Apr 2016
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510 · Aug 2015
Heart and Home
a Aug 2015
Home is where the heart is, but  what if the heart is nowhere?

What if the heart is a tennis ball, volleyed from person to person,
place to place?

No comfort zone, no middle net, no ball crew to at least hold you back
before the next throw.

Slapped by racquets with surprising ease and frivolity, the heart is light,  airy,
but blackening slowly.

What if your heart wanders through the night,  an ebony  ghost, capturing,  entangling, enticing

those hearts that already have a home? Swiftly pumping yourself into them, hot scarlet blood for fixing yourself

Fixing them instead.

Their bodies,  minds, souls set alight with your fire, but the fire in you is quickly extinguishing.

You are dry rot and stale bread and wickless candles,  left in the sun
to decay.

But you are a saviour.

What if your heart was a weary traveller,  no home to speak of, no place to rest your head, therefore no heart to boast of?

What if your heart was an impenetrable facade, stolen features put into one,  
to hide ***** deeds, to owe no one?

What if your heart is your home, taking in yourself, and giving hope, sprouting
out the things everyone else owns
to hide the vulnerable reality
behind, alone?
Some attempted spoken word, for an external competition.
503 · Feb 2015
untitled x
a Feb 2015
and if you're still breathing,
you're the lucky ones, 'cause
most of us are heaving through
corrupted lungs*

and convulsing, so empty, completely rid
of tears and whatever else might have lived
within the crumbling walls of my dying sanctuary
498 · May 2015
ivy
a May 2015
ivy
slithering up the side of your house and
curling, spiralling against the creme,
leaves, sticky and sharp, jutting out from the
thorny sides

protecting you
479 · Feb 2015
Untitled
a Feb 2015
it's strange. Stranger than stranger,
a feeling of the coldest of ice shrouding your
body and the most intense warmth enveloping
it and you don't really know how
to react
because

*this is it
468 · May 2015
words stick like glue
a May 2015
If there was one thing that the Bard was correct about,
it was that Hero had fallen into a pit of ink,
she was stained; the blackness of words tainting her skin,
with the words that didn't belong to her.
They didn't belong, but they stayed, her accusations of unfaithfulness
didn't fray, because the thing about words is that
they can stick, they're faithful, even if they don't fit,
and that they did, for the rest of her life,
[which was ten minutes, but even in her right]
people thought she was a stale, a grimance,
and the only way to escape her wanton rep-u
was to die a sorrowful death and rebirth,
as pure as a baby's breath and mirth
you gotta love 'speare, don't you?
464 · Jun 2015
contrast
a Jun 2015
your blood is sunshine
and my blood is shadow
yet your cloak is darkness
and my cloak is brightness
462 · Mar 2015
bruise
a Mar 2015
You are a bruise,
    ever-changing in hue
You are too hard to predict,
      your mind a limitless labyrinth

You are medallion yellow,
       painted illness by the goddess' rays
You are aegan blue,
        boiled a facade of too much of new
You are parakeet green,
           hidden underneath an opal like scene
You are mauve purple,
             controlled by the end and its inevitable stage

You are my colour,
              highlighting my pain.
You are my end,
               unravelling the game.
draft one
439 · Dec 2014
hazy but bright
a Dec 2014
they ask me the colour of my soul and i say
mustard
and then they ask why and i have to think

is it because its bright but coated in a layer
of dust
not grey but not entirely yellow bright?
two sides to the colour
434 · Nov 2014
Judgment I
a Nov 2014
I adjust my scarf, pull my fringe out
lift my skirt above my knees
and hide my old HTC

I pretend I don't know, don't give the answer
Cower behind the mainstream facade
Try to hide that I'm a ******
423 · Oct 2014
Hangman
a Oct 2014
Oh my little Hangman
oh, how I mourn for
your soul.
Charred and blackened,
oh, how the wrong vowels,
how they pierce and bleed,
black ink
ever so quickly
forming the guillotine . . .
Little man, why?
Why do you want to
commit suicide?
The words, they pound,
and yes, the phonics punch,
but little Hangman,
you have your artist.
Allow the ink
to dry, at least.
408 · May 2015
fire
a May 2015
tongues of salamander bottomed
with their cobalt counterparts
and highlighted with the inky
blackness of the black between
warmth being raised
from the smouldering concrete
391 · Feb 2015
apologies
a Feb 2015
i'm so sorry,
for doing all these things,
and making all these
mistakes,
and i'm so sorry
for not being there
and for not being right
and just and fair
and i'm so sorry
for being two sided
for being a hypocrite
and for being blinded
and i'm so sorry
for being me, with my
clumsy mouth and mind
and my displaced heart
and i'm so sorry

but you do not have to
forgive me.
379 · Sep 2015
It's Been A While
a Sep 2015
And I'm sorry about that.
My wrinkling fingers have gotten
Sore.
They are periwinkle and fat,
Like pigs before ham,
They are tired and numb,
Like those who work under the thumb,
But I'm back now, though honestly,
It seems to me that
That is only so when
Good turns to bad.
Cause in reality,  poetry
Is for the sad.
Poetry is for the sad,  and I'm sad. Hello again, poetry.
378 · Nov 2015
Untitled
a Nov 2015
i feel a pain unbeknownst to most
not pity, yet not understanding
i feel ashamed of the fact that
they take His name before
slaughtering the innocent, the
crying.
i feel grief for those who have lost
i feel sorrow for those not found
i feel anger at these holy men
who take religion into their own
hands.
I'm so sorry.
378 · Jan 2016
Untitled
a Jan 2016
once again, i
abandoned my poetic post.

i ventured out and sought that of which most
would find unruly.

and like so many times before, my misadventures
only have led me

here,
to hellopoetry.
hello, poetry. it's been a while
376 · Mar 2015
pressure
a Mar 2015
they squeeze
they press and pressure and push
until i decide to
pop
and do their bidding
and be a 'ganger
one of them
and then the others,
the true and tested,
the tried and done,
they cry and wonder
what the hell i have done
submitting to the evil
turning to stone
not knowing that the action
it's influence, invincible
unchangeable
not my fault
376 · Oct 2014
Haikuing Sweat
a Oct 2014
sweat trickles
excessively
this is getting to me
my haiku skills aren't great, if you hadn't yet noticed
370 · Feb 2015
haikuing fffffs
a Feb 2015
feverish, fervent
frantically observant
forever more
a lot of things at once, and the sixth letter of the alphabet
364 · Oct 2014
Word Food?
a Oct 2014
The plates had been lain out, and the glasses standing well.
The tablecloth was sitting, candles dancing swell
The clock is there a-ticking, but the oven is a-tocking,
Papa's waiting at the head, Mama panicking 'bout what's blocking
Sister's playing hide and seek, with brother dear who's much too meek.
Finally, the platter comes, filled and lavished with the good 'uns
The wine is here, share it out, it's much too nice to not talk about
Slice the words and give it out, pour the poetry and share it.
i don't even know
361 · Oct 2014
controlled curiousity I
a Oct 2014
what a curious world
but what a regulated curiousity
i'm not allowed to know what that spot is
because it'll hurt me
but i'm told that being gay is bad
and that won't?
hmm
355 · Jun 2015
Untitled
a Jun 2015
i'm better then you
you're a derelict anti-pacifist pretending to be cool,
darling
i'll rap in french while you slave to *****
351 · Nov 2014
Untitled V
a Nov 2014
crumpled paper
blue ink stains
wrinkled fingers
textbook pains
revision.
351 · Jan 2015
Haikuing Hate
a Jan 2015
Eyes narrow, beady
Heart green, seedy
Unextinguishable fire
Another addition to my terrible haikus
350 · Feb 2015
untitled xvi
a Feb 2015
i always forget about all the mistakes you make,
i tolerate your swings and your constant changes
your inconsistencies and your 'slipped-outs',
and whenever you fight or hurt i'm always there,
waiting,
but this one time when i made a mistake, you
lashed out and said you couldn't trust anymore,
and that i should no longer waste your time
so now i'm left, not even a single friend, 'cause the
only one
decided i wasn't trustworthy enough
for letting out a single feeling towards you
to someone else, and now, you've gone,
just like all the rest.
344 · Apr 2015
Tap
a Apr 2015
Tap
Before me lies a plain field
Stretching out as far as sight can see
I can’t even hear humanity’s plea
All the blemishes of people concealed

Silent, like the growth of non-existent flowers
Not a touch of sound
Do you hear the bee’s humble buzzing? Look around
Serenity and serendipity devours the hours

Unnaturally quiet, one might say
What has kept the swallow so powerfully at bay?
And where are the trees, tall and strong?
When supposed to, for all, Doomsday prolong?

Matter not though it does,
For I am happy
Past was the time for trees to be present
And who wants to hear the bees’ irritable buzz?

But shortened was my joy,
As suddenly the screeching calls arise
It was a perfectly made coy,
Nature in nature’s disguise.

And after all, the peace no more,
For the birds shout, wings flapping,
The trees sprouting from the dirt floor,
All that’s left is the tapping.

The tapping enough to make one mad,
Coming from the air and ground and sea,
As if I’ve been hit by iron-clad,
It’s torturing me.

Tap. Tap. Tap.
Something I wrote when I was twelve. Found this old thing hiding in a document for a short story.
I have no idea what it's referring to, but hey, it's a throwback.
339 · Oct 2015
Untitled
a Oct 2015
triple glaze can't shield the sounds
of laughs screams or motors whirring from
all the way down the street
but
it provides slight relief from eternal goosebumps that grace my sleeves
334 · Jan 2015
untitled viii
a Jan 2015
he loves her and she loves him
and it's a crash, a crack, an unmissable
climatic anticlimax
and there's all this emotion spilling like
god filling
up his canister with darkness and light
from a strange source
like a spring of ill feelings but an
oasis of happy
a clash of the mind and an inability
to express because
he loves her but doesn't love me
333 · Dec 2015
~
a Dec 2015
~
the stress of living
consumes my life
333 · Apr 2015
Labyrinth [6w]
a Apr 2015
Death is the labyrinth's obscure exit.
328 · Feb 2015
silence
a Feb 2015
there is silence.
i allow it to consume me,
feed on my soundless noise
clutch onto my paper skin,
allow it to cease the crumpling
of a flammable coat, paper-thin,
let go of the clumsily loud thoughts,
let them flow into the air,
speak for themselves silently,
outside the screaming of my head.
327 · Mar 2015
guilt
a Mar 2015
it consumes me,
biting through me, inside to out,
though the feeling doesn't belong to me
but to this other unknown
326 · Nov 2014
Words
a Nov 2014
Are an underestimated necessity
in an overestimated odyssey

Are the most expensive, sought-after accessory
in an overflowing, ***** bloom of memories
324 · Feb 2015
Books.
a Feb 2015
I hold it close to me, like it's a precious child,
keep it safe and protected, or is it my own sanctuary?

Stroke the furling parchment, feel its elegant roughness,
as though its power could pass over through my awe-filled caress.

Divulge my pimply nose, inhaling its papery scent,
like the most magical of flowers, just waiting for consent.

Drag my sweaty fingers across the printed ink,
feel the words and take them, all these things for me to think.
I received a hardback copy of The Book Thief.
324 · Oct 2014
Colours of the End
a Oct 2014
Yellow
when the trumpets sound
Blue
for the apocalypse is coming
Green
everything is dying
Red
i'm falling to the ground
Orange
for the dying sky
Brown
for the day we will all die
Pink
nothing left to say
Purple
your tongue has been torn off anyway
because you do not deserve to talk
your mouth holds those unwanted words
******* away to be heard
do you not see the colours?
do you not feel the wind?
the earth is dying, burning, freezing
this ice inferno to begin
but all you think about are
words
323 · Oct 2014
Observations
a Oct 2014
The autumnal colour; greeny-brown, the colour inbetween
Swaying, gliding, dying before it touches the concrete
And the burgundy shaking, fragility making
It all too dangerous to stay alive

The razor earthquake, the autumn dying
The blackbirds houses; nigh
Shivering, falling, burns awaking
The end is here, the end is now
trees
321 · Mar 2015
didn't
a Mar 2015
i did not expect love and care from you,  but i didn't expect such a bitter fate. i didn't decide i was done with it, but i didn't decide i'd continue.  i didn't want to be involved but i didn't say it was a choice. i didn't want to feel reliance but i had to submit.
some bad prose.
306 · Feb 2015
Untitled XV
a Feb 2015
my mind has fallen down, nearer to where my heart is, and it is shrinking, but pulsing huger, whilst my heart is no longer pumping blood and throat is now stuck with this dry lump and my tear ducts are too empty to occupy and it's all suddenly just decided to go, to leave, to place this heaviness upon the cage that no longer protects my unworking heart
prose
301 · May 2015
lead
a May 2015
let me lead you
to your glory
and fight off the dragons
blocking your path
296 · May 2015
untitled
a May 2015
my fear is not of death itself, but
of the pain of it.
because in the end, i will always
be a coward.
295 · Aug 2015
Untitled
a Aug 2015
Falling, soaring, dropping
away from you and the warmth of your
eyes.
I can't afford kindness, compassion's too
costly,
So spare me the trouble, the debt, the owing
and retreat.
295 · Oct 2014
It is
a Oct 2014
4:54am
and the clock is ticking ridiculously loud
almost like it's deliberate
And the skies are somehow getting brighter
but the grey is unchanging
Through the window the buzz is getting louder
and I'm not sure what to do
The wind is shaking that old tree dangerously close to the house
but I'm not that scared for if it comes through
morning thoughts
294 · May 2015
shivers of warmth
a May 2015
yearning for touch to warm your icy skin,
decorated with fractals of cold disuse,
reading meaningful things on hp and
listening to the music that's most indie
trying to find the one lyric to add some heat
to the freezing stone that is your body by
sending some shivers up your spine and
causing the cemetery that is your mind
to feel the flow of hot, soothing blood
that doesn't flow unless you're in luck
291 · Nov 2014
NaNoWriMo I
a Nov 2014
hmm
do nanowrimo
accept poetry
anthologies?

because at this rate
they have to
285 · Dec 2014
untitled vii
a Dec 2014
it's that time of year again and
once again i'm sitting alone under like
seven hundred duvets and
she's in a mood again because
brother's in the ******* hospital bed
the snow just will not appear, and neither will
friends
#no
279 · Feb 2015
Haikuing Heartbreak
a Feb 2015
the beautiful breaking,
innocent, pained;
a storm in the soul
279 · Dec 2014
help
a Dec 2014
there is a lump not so modestly residing in the back of my throat
forcing me to stay silent because if i speak i'll probably squeak and the tears will start dripping
please, can someone tell me what it is that i'm feeling?
please.
275 · Apr 2015
is it?
a Apr 2015
is it so hard for you to look past the physicality
of its presence?
is it so hard for you to say hello and find out who i am
underneath it?
is it so hard to make it not matter, to understand that it
covers my head but not
my heart?
is it so hard?
headscarf.
271 · Feb 2015
untitled xiii
a Feb 2015
i sway to its gentle rhythm,
shutting out my eyes from the hurt of the outside,
allow my fingers to come out from safety,
to caress the nonexistent black and white keys that I
envision on the inside sitting before me
and just feel
*feel the music
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