i sway to its gentle rhythm,
shutting out my eyes from the hurt of the outside,
allow my fingers to come out from safety,
to caress the nonexistent black and white keys that I
envision on the inside sitting before me
and just feel
*feel the music

Sighs
fill the room
Twists
break the bed
Warm breath
on my neck
moonless days
and moonless nights
But there's still a light
Just one glint
much too bright
for me to see
And the river flows
the sounds too far
for me to hear
in the black darkness

It's weird now
because there's a hidden meaning behind everything I say
"How are you?" means "I don't care but I'll ask," whilst
"How are you?" means "Please tell me, I wan't you to be okay,"

And whilst I see all those footsteps in the snow and then point them out,
I'm not saying "Look, so many footsteps on top of each other," I'm saying
"Look, there are so many people on this world, and look how they trod on
each other,"

But then again, I am a poet

For in the darkest of nights, the stars shine most brilliantly,
So let my flaws not disguise themselves as stars
To be worshipped in the moonlight

I'm afraid of you
And afraid of your ideals
And afraid of your thoughts,
your words,
your shields.
And I'm afraid of what
you think of me
I'm afraid of how much
I think of you
And I'm afraid for when
you tell me the
truth

Absolute silence
Deafening me, I try and slice it
But then the fridge buzz comes again

i try to explain to you the whole system
the way life works, the words and how they hurt
but you just refuse to listen
you don't understand
the way it works, it has to be routine
but you don't know that
and the only way you will is by stopping,
by listening to me
i am the epitome of the cruelty of humanity
as i sit here thinking up deaths of those whom i hate
i may well be the killer,
or will be to cowardly to sin, but allow another soul
to enter into the dark abysses of
hell
and whilst i do that
another is dying
with a load on their back
but i'm much too preoccupied, much too
busy with my pure humanness
doing nothing but trying to sympathise with myself
because my life is so sad
is it not?
i mean, my boyfriend broke up with me the other day
and my pocket money for the week's run out
and as the mascara flows down my cheeks, another
problem arises in the house
with mum having her tooth removed, i'm going to have to look after
everyone
and oh
so
sad

Um
I'm not too sure what to say,
actually.
It's been a while, and I've sort of
been hovering around
here and there
In the corners of the vast vestiges
of life and internet
just sitting, watching
observing
actually thinking

why do you automatically assume things
it's like you're on a specific mode
that all the ideas swimming in you
must be said out loud and read

the rumours you spread typically aren't true
and as much as i try to explain to to you,
you don't get that people change
what you say too

And the judgments you make are ridiculously and annoying
saying i'm a **** for not wearing a skirt? look who's talking
and don't you dare say i'm trying to steal your friends
those minions follow your assumptions, I wouldn't
want to be friends with them if you paid me

Today, everyone giggled when Sir shed a tear at eleven o'clock
Calling him an emotional chicken.
But no one knew or cared to know that Mister's grandfather died
Not in action
Not by artillery
But many years later, when recalling past events hurt his mind too much to keep
Living.

Today, everyone giggled when I said I missed the soldiers
Saying I was being dim
Not paying attention to know that those noble men were our literal
Guardians
Saviours
The ones who experienced such terror for our lives

it was more than just a smile
for his eyes, they filled with light
and the troubles evaporated
for that fraction of a second, bright

it has been put into words
it has been confirmed
it has been made sure of
and i cannot defy it.

oxygen seems to not work
anymore