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Kimberley Sep 2018
you tell me you yell
because you love me
you tell me you hit me
because you care,
you want the best for me

yet, you become so alarmed
when i tell you he hits me because he loves me
with each blow he loves me more
why are you so alarmed that he cares for
and he loves me the way you did, dad.
to all the victims of domestic abuse/violence, it's never your fault.
Kimberley Aug 2020
there’s a heaviness in my chest
one i can’t explain
there’s a weight  
                            -pulling me
closer and closer
                           to the bottom
closer and closer
                           to
the
                end.
Kimberley Apr 2020
thank you.

thank you for loving him
in a way i never could
in a way i refused

thank you for showing him
love is't meant to destroy
but heal

thank you for healing him
and mending him
and being patient
while he fixed
what i broke

thank you for being his anchor
thank you for never giving up on him
thank you for showing him there's good
in the world


thank you.


for taking care of
and loving
the man i love


thank you for helping him
thank you opening his eyes
thank you letting him know
love isn't selfish


and thank you
for everything you are
(to him)
to the woman he'll spend the rest of his life with
Kimberley Jan 2018
i wanted him
he wanted her
she wanted someone else
and that's how everyone ended up sad,
alone and heartbroken
Kimberley Feb 2019
i knew it was wrong
yet
i threw myself at you
i knew what it was
yet
i still fell to my knees at your command
because i needed to feel something,
something other than the worthlessness
that built up in my soul
something other than the depression that lives within me
i needed to feel something new
yet
everything i felt was
eerily familiar .
Kimberley Feb 2018
every forty seconds
a family cries
friends mourn
people wonder why

every forty seconds
a life is lost
every forty seconds
someone has had enough

people want answers
" why didn't they ask for help? "
but they did,
the signs were there
but they were ignored
people don't care until it's too late

every forty seconds
lives are changed
destroyed forever
is there a note?
a reason why?

one death, EVERY FORTY SECONDS
statistical numbers are climbing
when will people realize this is a growing problem?

stop.
give a kind word
or two.
lend a hand
you may save life and lower the statistics.
every forty(40) seconds someone dies by suicide. let's help to make a change. reach out and help. we are our brothers and sisters keepers
Kimberley Mar 2019
palms to my face. shame in my eyes. i can feel my heart trying to break itself free. i wonder if you hear it too. a caged animal begging to be rescued and freed. i slowly open my legs for you to enter. so slow i begin to feel the regret. it hit me like a runaway train. you sensed it too. you had to have sensed it. you ripped open my legs. and instead of entering right away. you sat there and told me how beautiful i am. as if i needed them to be sure this was right. only they assured me this wasn't what i wanted. but before the words could leave my lips. you forced your fingers deep within and smiled with satisfaction. as if to say, i'm moist enough to want you, so there's obviously no regret. it's too late to leave. you already started and before i knew it, you were finished. and without a second thought, i dashed to the bathroom to get dressed. then i dashed home like i was being chased and my survival depended on it.
Kimberley Sep 2019
i want to explore
the beautiful chaos
that is your mind

i want to travel
my fingertips across
every part of you

i want to learn
the culture that is,
(loving) you.
Kimberley Jan 2018
looking at all these scars
who knew i would make it this far?
the world has ended for me every day
yet,
i stand tall
the world is mine
i'm rising
i'm soaring
but i'm scared
because,
really,
who knew i would make it this far?

-kks
Kimberley Feb 2019
it’s the worst kind of pain, they say
i cling to my 3rd bottle of *****
look at me, at just 18
my muffled cries
my screams into my pillow
sleepless nights, drunken nights
the darkness of my room is now my solitude
no-one told me it’d hurt this bad
it’s been two years since my first drunken night
two years later I’m on my millionth drunken night
with my ***** and tears
Kimberley Aug 2019
" and i hope in the end it's worth every single sleepless night, every teardrop, every silent scream in the dead night air, i hope it's worth it all because people like you and me, we don't get happy endings, we don't get the rainbows at the end of the storm "
Kimberley Apr 2020
it's funny how the simplest heart break can have you questioning your entire self-worth. like why not me. why am i not good enough. why doesn't he love me. what's wrong with me. it's hell. one boy has me questioning everything about myself. one boy has me wondering why no one will ever love me. one boy has me questioning if love is even in the world for me. how did one simple heart break and disappointment have me self-destructing this badly. how did i allow a boy to cause me to move from feeling like something to feeling like absolutely nothing
Kimberley Apr 2018
i'm trying
i'm trying
but i can't stop crying

why am i like this?
my feelings - i have to hide
my heart is racing

i can't breathe
the walls are caving in
my heart is racing
the tears are flowing

my mind is a mess
my life is a mess
i'm struggling
i'm fighting

i'm surviving
this is my truth
the pain is unbearable
yet, i stand tall
yet, i'm smiling.
to all the warriors - this is for you
Kimberley Jan 2018
she never wore shorts,
skirts or swimsuits
nothing too revealing

she always wore tights,
jeans or jumpers
anything to keep her covered.

she wore sweaters
all year 'round
whether it was burning hot
or freezing cold.

scars were her new skin color
her blade was her best-friend
and she night it kissed her -
deeply
passionately
and sweetly.

a fake smile
plastered on her face
like a permanent mask.

she had few friends
yet she trusted no-one
they thought she was getting better
but she was only getting worse.

she was slowly fading away
with whatever wind
that flew her way.
Kimberley Apr 2020
i wrote about the beauty of his lips
and the lies which flowed from them
he's the type of man you can't stay away from
you know you need to
have to
want to
but can't
he's the type of man to manipulate first and love second
he's the type of man you fall inlove with
even when you shouldn't
Kimberley Jan 2018
4"2 with the voice of an angel
he couldn't be more than ten
the only thing he ever stole was the hearts of those around him

a week later,
his body drains of blood
a mother's cry echoes around the town
her innocent baby
why'd they **** her innocent baby?
he was only nine.

a mother's cry echoes around the world
her baby is gone
blood drains from his body
one shot to the head
several to the torso
why'd they **** her baby?
he was only coming from school.

a shaken up officer stands to the left
Caucasian and worried
a grieving community to the right
African-American and terrified

straight A's and a bright future at seventeen
a future no-one could foresee
both labeled thugs
at 9 and 17

why?
because of the skin they keep.
Kimberley Feb 2019
i cannot wait for the day
i look at you
or say your name
or even see your picture
and feel absolutely
n o t h i n g
Kimberley Feb 2019
you were the first person to take my breath away
and three years later,
i haven't gotten it back
Kimberley Sep 2018
you bragged and boasted
about us and the *** we had
every time i walked by
your friends,
your silly friends would point
and stare
with my eyes glued to the gravel
under my feet, i kept moving
silly boys, disgusting boys
because little did they know
your *** story
was my **** story.
Kimberley Mar 2018
i always feel out of place, at 19 i still haven't found the place where i belong. i'm stuck in a small country with not much to do. i feel like i'm drowning; the world is happening around me yet i feel frozen. what's my purpose for living? what is my talent? i want to change the world. i want to be remembered for my good.

how do i find my purpose when i'm stuck in a country with no way out? how do i find my talent when my anxiety makes it difficult to try everything? how do i do anything when my depression makes me not want to leave my bed? what's my purpose? when will i become unfrozen? when will i find my place?    


                                       maybe tomorrow?
                                             next week?              
                                      next month?
                                               in a year or few
                                       or maybe never.
Kimberley Jan 2018
**** culture is being told to change my outfit five times too many because i don't want to attract the wrong man or give men the wrong idea.

**** culture is men (and women) thinking they're entitled to my body because parts of me are showing.

**** culture is being asked what did i do for a man to **** me. it's being asked if i was too friendly or trusting.

**** culture is blaming the victim for being ***** instead of blaming the ******.
#TimesUp

                                                #MeToo
Kimberley Jan 2020
and each time i close my eyes
it's you
in my dreams
in my thoughts
everywhere.
and each time i close my eyes
i can still feel you
the safety of your arms
the security of your warmth
i can still feel everything,
everything
except your love .
to the boy who walked me into love and left me stranded
Kimberley Feb 2019
you told me i was everything
yet you treated me like i was nothing
how convenient for you to compliment me only when you needed me
to get into my pants and satisfy your own hunger
but how stupid of me to let you in repeatedly
Kimberley Jan 2018
some wear them to keep warm
while others wear them for fashion
but a few wear them to hide

to hide the scars
brought upon by the pain,
the pain of a war they can never seem to win.
Kimberley Jan 2018
brutally honest,
gorgeous,
free-spirited,
kind and loving -
i love my people

the jewel of the Caribbean
i love my country
my little island
full of so much beauty, it should be illegal
an island forever on top
the best in Caribbean, really

the talk of many
home of many greats
" we likkle but we tallawah "
so much talent on one island
raw and pure
i could be no prouder to be a Jamaican
Kimberley Sep 2020
i think i enjoy pain a little too much. i seem to enjoy having my heartbroken. it's almost as if without the pain and hurt of heartbreak i cannot function. the words only come when i'm clutching onto hope and love and the memory of us. i guess that's why i love so deeply and freely because without love there is no pain, and without pain there are no words and without either, there is no me.
Kimberley Mar 2019
i can finally breathe again,
no longer does my love for you
restrict the breath fighting to escape my lungs
like a killer's hands
to his victim's neck
Kimberley Sep 2018
i think she mistook the hurt in my eyes
for jealousy,

i think she confused my heartbreak with hatred.
i can't hate her. i never will

i think she thinks i'm bitter he chose her
but that's not it. that will never be it.
it's about losing the one i fell inlove with
it's about all the memories that faded from his memory
it's about me and my heart.

i'm hurt. i'm broken. i don't know how to heal.
i don't know how to cope. i know i can do all these things
but i just don't know how.

i'm trying to pick the pieces up. my heart is on the floor -
shattered and unrepairable for the time being.
i can't fathom how i'll make it through this one but,
i know i will.

i know the fighter inside. i know what she's capable of doing.
i know what she can handle.
i'm just not sure if she can handle it yet.
Kimberley Jan 2018
" what were YOU wearing? "
" what did YOU say to him? "
" what did YOU do? "

i was wearing a uniform -
my school uniform.
i was 9
SHE looked like 30.

i was wearing a uniform -
my school uniform.
i was 15
HE looked like 60.

i was wearing a uniform -
my school uniform.
i was 18
he was in his 20s.

why was i blamed for their behavior?
why was i blamed for being assaulted?
was my SCHOOL UNIFORM too revealing?
to those who have either been sexually assaulted or *****, you aren't alone. you are strong, you are a survivor. I WISH YOU NOTHING BUT THE BEST IN LIFE.
Kimberley Jan 2020
happiness is
nothing more
or
nothing less
than a figment of y(our)
i m a g i n a t i o n
if you know, you know
Kimberley Jan 2018
there's something about him, the way he talks, walks, even smiles. the way he said her name, the way he did everything but more importantly the way he pretended to love her. she knew deep within he was faking it but it's been years since she's heard the words leaving his lips, it's been years since she felt anything like this, she knew this wasn't healthy for her. she's come so far only to be fooled once more but that's okay. this feeling is worth the hurt .

— The End —