My heart feels like
it's about to shut down
from all the truths
that only I know

People view me
as kind
selfless
heartfelt
with empathy

Yet once they witness
my darker side
this inner demon
that is always
a few steps behind me

Once they see
the ashes and smeared blood
tainted within my mind and heart

I am once again alone
alone to pick up the pieces 
of a love that never was

His "I love you" came swiftly.
Like the monsoon pouring down on a leaky roof
Those three words broke through my defences.
At first they were an ambrosia;
They sustained my life and our relationship.
At least for a short time.

Then "I love you" became an excuse;
For absences, and purpose-filled accidents.
And I ignored the warning signs, the flashing lights.
I pretended like "I love you" was enough...

...But it wasn't.
His "I love you"s were like band-aids on bullet wounds;
Like using play dough to fix cracks in concrete walls.
But I rationed our good memories,
I held on as tight as I could to our love
And watched as it slipped through my fingers.

His "I love you"s became poison,
That seeped deep into my bones,
And turned blue skies grey,
And turned light into darkness,
And slowly killed whatever semblance of love
I fooled myself into thinking we had left.

There was a man who was afraid he wouldn't make the grade. In the past he'd been betrayed, now he spends most of his time in the shade playing charades.

Then along came a real babe, who's name was Jade and he strayed but got played, then caught in a raid.

Now mind and body are starting to degrade, he feels like sitting on a grenade. And life, he tries to evade. While the tears cascade his life is portrayed a masquerade.

So he went to himself and prayed, out of the blue came aid. The things in his life he weighted, then arrayed, now he's on a crusade.

So whenever you become afraid because you have strayed and run into a blockade. While the consequences are coming in spades. Remember, most of Your problems. You Made.

But you can always upgrade like the man who went to himself and prayed. Now his life is arrayed and he's on a wonderful crusade.

So beware of escapades you can easily get played.