I was an amazing person who’ll do anything for you.
I trusted you enough to let you go out with your friends.
I was understanding.
When we argue, even if I wasn’t the one who started, I’ll always apologize.
I hate to disagree with you but just because I love you, doesn’t mean I’ll agree to everything you say.
I’d always tell you to drink less or completely stop. But you never listened and claim that drinking was the only thing that’ll help you.
I promise you, I never judged you for being the person you are.
You are beautiful when you are yourself.
I saw the light that lead me through the darkness but that was temporary.
The light started dying.
I would reassure you and made sure the light in you never died or turn off on me.
I loved you in every way I can and I still wasn’t enough for you.
That’s when I, myself, decided to shut the lights off.
It wasn’t a place where I belonged anymore.
The brightest light I’ve ever found was within myself.
Sincerely, The person you had but lost.

If someone you use to like or even love,
turns into a cold person after ending things then that means
they had real feelings for you.
You meant a lot to them.
They had a soft spot for you.
And they trusted you.
They’re going to start pushing everyone away because of one person and that’s you.
You’re the reason why they don’t trust anyone anymore.
You’re the reason why they don’t want to love anymore.

Why is this person so cold now?
Why does this person keep pushing everyone away?
How much pain did you give?
What did you do?

I’m afraid to open up.
I’ve been hurt so many times,
on top of that, I’m afraid to be the only one to fall in love.
I apologize for being so cold towards anyone, I’m just afraid to open up.
I’m so afraid to fall in love again.
I’ve always been hurt every time I try, that’s why I think the results of every try will be the same.
So far each try has been the same.
Same results, same pain, same healing process and I’m still the same person as always.
No matter how hard I try, I’m convinced that everyone I open up to will only hurt me.
No one can tell me that I don’t know what love is. I have loved a couple of boys who has taught me all kinds of love and pain. I understand love more than anyone in my life.
As much as I want to open up and love someone, I am afraid.

The clouds follow me every where.
No matter where and what the situation is.
The clouds are always with me.

When I’m in the dark,
there is no such thing as light
but just clouds.
Pouring rain with clouds.

These clouds would not stop following me.
They haunt me down every where I go.
In situations where I’m in such joy,
the clouds walk along with me.

I’m thankful for clouds
Because after the rain, there’s rainbows.
Even though there are rainbows, all I saw was rain and clouds.

Darkness is part of my world.
You may not see that because
I hide behind smiles and laughs.
I’ll save you and leave me behind because the dark is no fun.

Darkness is part of my world.
Without the dark,
I’ll never be who I am today.
Without the dark,
I’ll never understand people
who also lives in the dark.
Without the dark,
I’ll never know how scary the world is.

Darkness is part of my world.
I cry and hide away from the world.
I blame and hate myself.
I overthink and get sad.
I bawl my eyes out and sit in the dark.