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 Apr 2015 Xyns
Matthew Bourgeois
As time goes on,
I realize
Just what you mean
To me
And now,
Now that you're near,
Promise your love
That I've waited to share
And dreams
Of our moments together
Color my world with hope of loving you
Chicago.
There's no greater love
Than that of a mother and her child
Times that by three
And the maternal instinct goes wild

To not be around what you hold dear
Can tear your world apart
Distance and no hope brings a tear
Ripping out the motherly heart



I miss them, truly deeply madly
They're my whole entire world
I need help to even see them again
One baby boy and two big girls

Their daddy was never truly a father
But now he's just using them to hurt me
Keeping them away, tearing them from my arms
Telling me I HAVE to just sign over custody

I want to fight this, I want to hold them every night
But no lawyer I can find is willing to help for free
I feel so lost, hopeless, like I'll never find a way
So, I'm putting my pride aside and asking for help with my poetry...


http://www.gofundme.com/r5wnpsd5
I'm not only asking for financial help, moral support and advice can help too.

PLEASE CLICK THE LINK
Share my story, help if you're able.
THANK YOU all for any help or support.
 Apr 2015 Xyns
Dark n Beautiful
The truth about this ****** thing
it creates more headaches than
Satisfaction
our thirst is getting more and more difficult to quench

~~~
so you lay there feeling empty
while his head sunk deep into your pillow
he slept,
you pondered

your thoughts turn to
a time  when it was you
and the pink *******....
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves." - Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951
 Apr 2015 Xyns
C S Cizek
I’m sitting on a fume couch with ashtray
legs, counting the khaki strands
in the beaded curtain that dices
the hallway up into barcodes. The table
by the fridge is a cable spool lead-
painted to match the molding. Around
it is a mesh-back lawn chair, a SoCal
fold-out from a SoHo dumpster,
a spill-trayless booster seat,
and a bottle cap barstool. Everyone’s
wearing second-hand sport coats
with seam stitches as loose as telephone
wires tacked up with undersized lapel
pins.

**** Capitalism. **** Disco.
Bathe Avant-Garde. Eat Paint.
Bleed *******. Smoke Local.
Espresso, Or Genocide.
Dresden Was A Lie.
Shrink-Wrap It All.

Everyone is clustered around the cinder-
block stand record player, grooving
to the pops, looking like a rag-tag tide
change beneath the broken-oar ceiling
fan. Everyone’s wearing ironic scarves
tight like corporate ties to keep their throats
from popping ten-cent parasols, loose tobacco,
and *******. Amid their rubber flower talk,
I can pick out San Pelicano, someone critiquing
Keats’ “Politics,” and a rant regarding some
guy downtown’s stab at post-contemporary
Pointillism in some gallery I’ve never heard of.

They’re flipping between topics like a Moleskine notebook
while I skim through a copy of the Onion,
teasing the edges with a lighter I found on the floor.
 Apr 2015 Xyns
Gwendolyn
Exhaustion
 Apr 2015 Xyns
Gwendolyn
My eyelids are burning
And I don't know why I'm still awake
It's 3 AM and I just want to sleep
But for some reason I can't
And it's not because of a certain person or a certain event
I just never felt the need to be asleep even though being awake *****
I'm so tired
And I'm so exhausted
And I'm so done with being awake past 3 AM  
I have to be up in five hours
Did you know you're the first person to ask me why I stay awake
Multiple people ask how
But you asked if was it was insomnia
And I just said yes
Because I didn't want to tell you that the nightmares are so bad that I rip my hair out in the  middle of the night
I wake up sometimes with my hands bleeding because my nails have been digging into my palms with fear
I wake up to my leg spasm
They've been tense for hours
I can't do this anymore
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