Night, darkness is here.
The sky is calm and clear.

This is when thoughts drift up to the place where earlier, one might have seen cloud.

It is when many connect with our Father, voicing their love aloud.

Please just listen and listen close.
All I am asking for is just one single, extra dose.

Please for the love of God, just give it to me, I don't care how.
I need it now!

See, you are the only ones that hold the key.
You are the only ones that can relieve the relentless pain inside of me.
All you need to do is stick me with a fully loaded needle or hook me up to an IV.
Should I lower myself to my knees maybe?

*******! You have all the appropriate tools!
Do not even try to come up with some stupid excuse like; "Oh I am sorry miss, I can't, that would be against program rules."

It is too much to bare.
This just plain isn't fair.

Please! Someone help me to survive this war!
I cannot fight it alone anymore.

The darkness is calling, calling, calling.
As I am slowly falling, falling, falling.

Hope.
We all need this. For many it seems to be the only way that they can cope.

It pushes us through the dark, helps us to see the light.
It coddles us when we are scared at night.
It is the beacon that we are always aiming for, big and bright. 

Sometimes you may feel that it is shrinking, this is only a natural way of thinking.
But the thing you must try to keep in mind is that so is a renewable source.
An unstoppable force.

It will continually regrow.
You may ask me how but my answer is always simple: "I do not know."

It's just a feeling.
That aids human healing.
It is the medicine that I find most appealing.

Happiness is what they all seek.
Week after week.

But not me, no.
I carry happiness with me, everywhere I go.

The ones that I love, I keep in my back pocket.
Well, except when my cell is hooked up to its charger via the wall socket.

So while they continue on their recurring quest.
My happiness spreads through me, warmth filling the ***** that lives in my chest

I am laying on my bed trying to blink away tears.
While you are probably out at some house party sinking numerous beers.

I should hate you.
But what good will that do?

Watching people fall apart.
Repeatedly breaking someones' heart.

I am a fool.
You used my trust as your primary tool.

I asked you why.
In response? A harsh laugh that was also dry.
Followed by a shrug. You chose then to be honest? It would have been kinder for you to lie.

I have always hoped to find the good inside.
But because of you that wish has died.
Have you committed emotional homicide?

I am dead.
Your satisfaction is complete.
Your manipulation classification? Elite.
You have shown no remorse for what you did or said.
This is it. I cannot go on. I give up  I admit defeat. 

I have been destroyed.
Cruel tactics were deployed. 
My downfall you have openly enjoyed.

So you go ahead and make a toast.
But no matter how hard you try to forget, I am now and will forever be your ghost.

My blood is now running cold, like a newly thawed river.
Down my spine a huge shiver.

This whole situation is is beyond strange.
How can someone suddenly have such a drastic personality change.

Something like this cannot just happen over night.
So when? I ask myself. Over the years we have barely been out of each others sight.. How could I have not noticed? Were the alterations simply that slight?

A body looms above.
The one formally known as my first love.

Her breath hitting the shell of my ear.
She speak fast, lips near.

Her words, for whatever reason I cannot figure.
A targeted touch sets off a trigger.
Her face lights up and she does not even attempt to conceal a snigger.

Held here against my will.
Just so she can live out some kind of twisted thrill.
A waterfall of tears begins to spill.
The glint in her eye makes me feel awfully ill.

Has the girl I once knew gone? Leaving behind memories as faint as a ghost?
Is the devil now using her as a host?

You are all I want, all I need.
I swear, I will beg, I will cry, I will plead!
Please?!.......Just take the lead!
.........Make me weep until my eyes bleed!

I can not proceed in such a fashion.
I long...
For your care and compassion.
I can still hear it, it is our love; its song.

I wish to never forget this tune.
If I ever do, God forbid, it will be too soon.

Hey, do you remember the night I caught you staring at the moon?
You turned and found my eyes.
"Oh why hello Beautiful, won't you join me? Hmmm...? I am watching the night skies."
"I will...Can you- I mean please..Be my spoon?"

With you? Us? Being as close as this?
I am sure that I have said before that It is all just a constant sense of pure bliss.

I want you always.
I am eternally grateful that our paths became crossed.
If they had not I would still be lost.
I love these days........

.........When you slip effortlessly into your dominant role.
When I relinquish all my power. Giving you complete control.

Take me.
Shake me.
Get me all worked up just so you can break me.