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I’m noticing you.
Your eyes are weighed down,
And your smile is fading away.
You’re throwing your life into an empty bottle.
The more you struggle,
The harder it is for you to wake up every morning to what seems like another wasted day.
As if the sun doesn’t touch your skin anymore,
Your pigment is disappearing along with your eagerness to live.
You have a wound from an arrow,
That has yet to close over.
But listen to these words darling,
Continue your life but not the way it is.
Dedicate to one thing that makes the butterflies in your stomach flutter,
That makes your mind float away into the clouds,
And that makes your smile appear again.
You once told me that you would always be there for me,
through both the good and the bad like I was there for you.

But you were just a lost piece of a puzzle waiting to find another,
and I was there temporarily, showing the completed image

until one day you found a piece and put the two together
you no longer needed me because you and her were the picture

your puzzle is complete and im useless, just a waste of space

thrown to the side to one day deteriorate without anyone knowing
or anyone caring

because in the end, everyone prefers to see the finished result than an image of it.
I was only there when you needed me, and even though you said it wouldn't happen, it did and now I am of no use to you.
Your hands, trace my entire body.
Like a fragile sculpture,  
You try not to leave a trace
of proof that you've been here.

Your warm lips, taste like heaven
and feel like perfection.
So hard to even describe it's tenderness
The gentle kisses leave me breathless,
leaves me motionless.

Your eyes, sparkle and stare into mine with admiration
telling me how perfect everything is on me,
giving me assurance that i'm alright,
i'm more than alright.

Your tight grasp,
showing me you could crush me in an instant,
but choose not to because you love me.


In my deepest fantasy's you would hold me tight
you would kiss me like our first time, every time
And in this fantasy, you would respect me.
Oh, only in my fantasy world.
{a perfect world}
Looking up at the stars
reminds me of a time.
A time where we'd lay in the wet grass;
not caring about what or when or who or how.
it's nice to forget about everything in our world
except what's beyond what our eyes can view;
We lie there without anything to distract us
from the beautiful lights that twinkle in the sky.
Those little lights are now symbolic,
not only because they're beautiful;
but because that's the last happy memory I have with you.
My throat is sore;
Telling me I've smoked too many today.
        My cough is strong;
Telling me I need to quit before it's too late.
        My mouth is dry;
Reminding me of a desert; in desperate need of water.
            My mind is screaming;
But, i never listen when it tells
                                                      Me
                                                        to
                                                                    quit.
My hands are shaking;
I Can't seem to catch my breath.
Something inside me tells me this is okay;
That this is necessary for me.

She must hate me if she thinks this is okay,
Something so cruel, telling me "don't eat, you'll get fatter, no one will like you"

Food is my nightmare, food is my saviour.
I can't help but to deny myself from it though.
I might need help, but who will save me from myself?

This may sound cliche, but feeling fat is what I despise, I constantly am blaming myself for the feeling of "fat"

But, what is fat compared to health ?
Sleepless nights leave me feeling anxious, restless.
Is there a deeper meaning to my insomnia?
To lay here and think of my mistakes
gives me reason to believe I'm a disappointment
letting down my mother, my father, my family.
But when I switch my thoughts to the positive side;
it gives me reason to keep a smile on my face;
knowing I've only just begun my life.
Tell me i'm not crazy,
tell me my thoughts aren't considered psychotic.
Tell me this is normal; tell me to think this way is natural,
Back in forth in my own **** mind,
battling my negative thoughts with positive thoughts.
Guess it's just another sleepless night.
The sun shines down on me;
I love the warm rays that shine upon my face.
The sun is my best friend;
she's always there for me on my worst days;
and like a human; she needs her space too.
She'll take a day or two to herself to hide behind the clouds.
Even the sun needs a break to regain her energy for the days to come.
Waking up at 7:30 a.m. isn't a problem for me,
I know that she'll be up with me,
shining a bright orange color; Brighter than all the stars combined.
She's so flawless, kissing the sky every morning.
She knows she looks beautiful rising over the horizon,
Something so natural, and simple, something so superior to all other lights.
Something tells me she'll never leave me alone
like everyone else has.
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