I'm not as good as the light suggests
I prefer the dark where my shadows are invisible
Where they can't follow me and watch me
And show me my wrongs
Show me I don't belong

There is no song that can make me feel better
About what I've done
The things I've seen, done, and wished I hadn't
I've learnt from them, this poem is proof of that
Once I put it in words it's as good as set in stone
Because out of everything I've known
Poetry is the only thing that feels like home

So please be a razor and shave away my sins like my hairs
Like my hairs my sins are uncountable
Shave them off and let them fall
Allow me retribution
Allow me freedom
I have been beaten

I don't want to remain in this darkness anymore
I want to yearn for the light and remember when my shadows walked WITH me and not against me
When my shadow had pride enough in me to walk with me
When my soul was as close to me as my jugular vein
Please take away this pain
Let not me be a bane in the rain of your mercy
Let not me fail...

Show me mercy...

Poetry has become my self harm,
I only write at my lows...
Instead of blood I see words,
Instead of a blade I have a keyboard...

I want to write about...
The wind dancing with the sea...
Or...
The way you smile and it lights up your innocent face...

I don't want poetry to be my self harm,
Because poetry is beautiful...
An art...
Not.
Just.
Blood.
And.
Scars.