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 Jan 2020 Muzaffer
Candy Noire
And of course
Every now and then it hits you
Like a car crash
Like a train-wreck
And you feel yourself choking on the unsaid words
And vomiting up the residue from drunken kisses
Howling at the night sky
While friends tell you "it gets better"
A truth you do not need to hear
Because right now you miss them like a limb
And you're dragging yourself around every day
Trying to make it to some kind of finish line
Some kind of end
Where the pain stops hurting
Where you stop remembering their name
And how you held them and danced with them
And spoke to them about how you wanted them
And now at 3 in the morning
You're lonely and longing
And they're with somebody new
Who probably kisses them the same as you did
And they no longer yearn the touch of your fingertips
No longer crave you like water on a summers day
Because they have them.
They have found someone to hold their aching bones
And you are alone.
But you are not a reflection of those you have lost
And you will be loved by people you have never met
And you are beautiful despite their passing
You are worthy, don't you forget.
 Jan 2020 Muzaffer
Candy Noire
what can i do if you never care?
You say you want me
But you're never there
 Jan 2020 Muzaffer
Ayn
It’s ok to hate yourself,
As long as you’re trying to like you.
You will fall from grace,
But it’s ok, life is sour sometimes.
If you don’t ever let go,
Life will let go of you in your stead.

Before you love someone else,
Learn to first love your own **** self!
Look for pt 2 if you want, it describes my story behind this.
Three principles of my mother make life easier for me,
Never ask or expect anything from anyone,
Never tell a lie,
One lie can lead to another,
And lastly never steal.
When you learn to live within your means temptations are removed.
29/1/2020
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