I suppose I'll be in a Nursing Home one day
  drooling all over myself
And still plotting revenge on this world for
  having wronged me so,
Or maybe I might just be dozing, probably
  having another nightmare
I might find myself on a train somewhere and the conductor he suddenly
  announces
"Next stop Dementia City
After that it's Alzheimersville"
I'll awake with a start
And then...then I'll see her... this beautiful
  vision just walking in
Elderly like myself but still so ladylike
Still so lithe and graceful
I'll tell my Nurse to quickly get my false teeth
And my good wig
And my walking frame
And to give me a couple of those heart tablets
I'd think to myself "I knew she'd come... one
  day"
It'd be one last chance for Love... one last dash for Love.

So moving slowly but determinedly across
  the floor toward her
I'd probably get a pain midway
And then keel over
She'd not see me, she'd have her back turned
  to me
The Nurses they'd be showing her to her
  room
She'd be walking away
I'd try to call out but the words they'd get all
  garbled and stuck in my throat
I'd try to reach out to her... reach out like
  she's some mirage in the desert
My last gasp... my last gasp for Love
But...too late...
Too late, the Hero.

Piano notes drift in the
rainy evening,
like sadness from a
clock.
You were the color
in my dreams.
The paint on my
canvas.

i 'm standing in the dark
staring at the floor

and there s something
spiritual
transcendent
after 5 beers
******* into a toilet
something
like sunshine after a rainstorm

she was just the right touch
of pretty

her bellybutton
and the contour of her thighs

and I thought i had found a heart
that had me feeling good
so good

but you have to bleed out of your heart
to be true to love

and you had to bleed your heart out
to be with her

(a roll of the dice,
sorrow, or joy)

and the Gypsy had cursed me

said all relationships would end
badly

trouble and death
would follow me,


love.

(sorrow or joy)

there s something ethereal
standing in the dark
******* in the toilet
it s all about aim,
aND

suDDenLy,

SATORI!

and as the prisoner was led out of the prison,
"see you later," the prison guard said.

The sun sets
Right as the many
Steps that I’ve taken
Have gotten me so close

And now I’m begging,
Laying on the side
In a room that
Screams profanities

While the moonlight
Creeps through
The blinds
Splashing the
Color of the furniture
Against the walls,

The browns,
      The reds,
The greens,
      The oranges,

Oh I can feel
My body dipped
In ink, weighed
Down like a
Branch full of leafs
Or
A shackle that ties
Itself around my veins
Or
Maybe my stomach
Is full of stones,
Or
My heart has grown cold.


For the love of god,
Please,
            PLEASE,
                         PLEASE!

Let
me
find
peace.

Of the manipulator,
He will blame you for everything,
And make himself a victim.
26/4/2024

On wings of ravens, your sanity flew.
Taken to the shadows, your mind is lost.
Life's cruel fist, and melancholia, you knew.
You traded it all for such a high cost.
Too far gone in distant time, your eyes.
I can't go to where you have wandered late.
In pain, you can grow, but you bought the lies.
How does your vast and empty world now rate?

I read of sanity lost in old books
But never thought it would happen to us.
Thank God you are immune to all the looks.
In my weakness, I scream, you succubus!
I wish I could have saved you from yourself.
And now my love sits lonely on a shelf.