I must apologies
I have a tendency to project
It happens when I read
  A poem of abuse or neglect...
Bad things happen
Good people go bad
That was my reality
  The only one I had...
So hold on tight
To your poetry
and to your soul
You're similar
  To the way I was
Years ago...

I'm just projecting an old role!
........................................

everyday
i wake up
in pain
emotional
physical
the kind i can't explain
why don't you see
why don't you care
just expecting me to move on
from yesterdays failures
all of my underachievements
my potential wrongs
and i probably would
if you didn't constantly
bring them up
being around you
is a reminder of why
i'm not enough
and i have tried
to numb myself
but it hurts just the same
but i'll keep it to myself
you don't care to
hear me complain
i just wish you understood
but i can't expect you
to know
being around you willingly
taking
blow after blow
bruised after you're done
accepting the way
things are
to you i am
just another
bleeding heart

Did you ever look
Into an addict's eyes
And see the reflection
Of your own ghost

All your judgment
All your abuse
Dangling there
A noose
Around your own throat

Deeper than human despair
The soul gone missing
Into thin air
Did your spirit ever grow tired
  Of existing here...

Did you ever wonder
If there was anything left
Did you ever catch
Your last breath?

The light inside left me for a bit
but...
I found it one night when I truly needed it
Lately I have been in the in between
I've felt like diving head first in the deep end
Where no one can see me to hurt me
drown out the surface
drown out my worthless
Then come back up from the bottom down

it doesn't add up
give me a sine
finding all these new ways to
divide
sitting back as all my fears
multiply
adding to the pressure
to get the answer right
the difference is there is no right answer
can't cheat at life
no answer to learn
just new questions to find