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Ellie Jul 2020
Spinning and swirling
round n' round I go
crumbling to the floor as my walls begin to break
my stomach churns as ***** threatens to rise
hot tears come pouring down
my head feels like a hurricane
why am I like this?
why am I so broken?

old monsters are returning
pushing away the new ones
bringing back the ****** daggers that once stabbed at my skin
walls break inside my head
the air is thick and suffocating
nothing will stand still
nothing will let me breath

I'm overheating again
my body turning to fire
I can't breath
I'm tired of trying
I just want to lay here and rot away
let my world crumble
let my mind fall apart
let me turn to dust
help me stop...
Ellie May 2017
Come find me
come search for my soul
I'm drowning in this sea of sorrows
numb from the cold

I feel nothing anymore
rainbows mean nothing to me
my life is a blur
I'm crumbling in the sea

Only you can find me
you have the key
throw me a life vest
and save me from the sea
Ellie Feb 2011
hot tears run down pink cheeks
take a hammer to my head and a nail gun to my heart
make this headache go away
take away my pain

my reflection stares back at me through blurry eyes
confidence gone, it's as if my beauty has drained away
tears and a pink nose
no matter what, more and more tears come

I hate being in this depressed place
home,town and state

How can you ask me to stay with you
of course you'll find a way
and of course I'll find a way to stay
even if all I wish is to put a gun to my head

like 1,2,3 let me end my pain
on the next hour, I'll find a way

my throbbing temples wont let me forget
this everlasting pain
Ellie Jan 2011
cold as ice
similar to his eyes
so shiny and bright
like a new toy it catches my eyes
chained to the wall
my wrists have heartbeats
his hungry eyes watch me
eager to devour the fear that wont show
as I hear the slice of the knife
followed by screams that chill him not me
why am I the one chained?
piercing screams don't bother me
Ellie Dec 2010
Life doesn't always hand you lemons
like snowballs they can be thrown at your legs
Down on your knees you'll go,
because lemons are much harder than snowballs you know.

Crippling you for however long,
this harsh act forces you to crawl.
Don't expect a wheelchair, there wont be one for you.  

We all crawled at one point or another
a past lesson; a past stepping stone on how to walk
if you can remember,which I doubt you can
crawling was much easier then.
Back then you weren't use to standing on your feet.

But for whatever reason life decided to chunk a lemon your way
knock you down in the middle of the road,
then run off like some silly little girl, all the while laughing of course

Life chose you.

You with your habit of bad luck and terrible morning breath...
Keep your head up when you start crawl, if not you'll miss the ladder.
As one of life's wonderful attempts to keep you down
just keep going, keep moving forward and when you see that ladder...
don't climb it.

Use it to stand back up
then hunt down a brand new lemon squeezer,
cause I can guarantee life 'misplaced' your last one...
on purpose of course.
You can try to hide if you have a good spot in mind,but you better move fast...real fast. No one throw's 'em like life.
Ellie Dec 2010
As the sun sets
sinking down
only to rise on the opposite side
forming someones light
setting the stage for the stars
I realize..
I don't need you approval
you've shot me down for the last time
If nothing I show you is right
that doesn't mean its wrong
my work is still wonderful
I am still beautiful
after the scars you've left in my wing
like the sun I'll rise again
facing the arrow of judgment that is your words
no matter how much they sting or burn
I'll forever spread my wings
to rise constantly with the sun.
Ellie Dec 2010
no response....not even a head tilt

dont fool yourself kid

save your breath
she'll hear the whiskey before she hears you

don't give me that look
and don't even start to ask why

at least she's cook'n dinner
and so far have'n  a good time

just let her be
go to your room and play

if you need anything I'm here
close your eyes and open your ears
listen to my words deep inside your mind.
just a little something that oozed out.
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