its nights like this
the ones that tear me up inside.
I miss him so much.
I want to send you a letter.
its the same letter I have written so many times.
but you'll never get to read it.
im so sorry I hurt you
goodnight.

try to forget how long it took you to figure out how to wrap your fingers around his heart and how you failed
but don't forget all the times you split your sides open for him just so he could see your hurting
don't forget how to ride the bike
but try and forget the time you flung yourself forward froward into a fence cutting your head open
don't forget the times you failed but the times they said
you couldn't do it
allow yourself to remember the first time you fell in love.
that first kiss
that first I love you
forget the time you found him cheating and the feeling that came with it
the thoughts that you are unlovable
instead remember the time you left his *** in the dirt and how good that felt
remember the first time you saw your father cry
when you were on stage singing that song he loves
do not remember the years that flashed by in the blink of your eye
when he left

I live in the skeletons of our love in hopes of having it stop haunting me.
          Its so hard to forget when you float around my head like a ghost
                          
                             its so hard not to go back to the graves of what                   was and not have to think about what is.