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Came into this world blue and screaming
You stole my heart with your first breath
Heart full of gold
Pure and innocent
Caring for others is your strong suit don't ever stop
You are stronger then you know
You have a way of knowing when someone needs a hug
I love you as wide as outspace as deep as the craters in the moon and as pure as an angel
You are my Clayton Bradley you are my heart
Born purple you stole my heart
As you grow I love you more and more each day
You're headstrong with a strong will and a huge heart eyes full of wisdom
My hope is that noone takes that from you
Stay true to yourself always
I love you deeper than the grand canyon as wide as the ocean and as many stars in the sky
My memmorie joye you are my heart.
Losing my kids
Losing you
I wish it wasn't true
I wish you could see
You're looking for me
I saw a side of you I don't like
I wish you would say sike
Put things back where it all makes since
When I thought you were heaven sent
Why
Do we lie
Then deny
Why
Do we let love die
Say goodbye
Why
Do we trust
Then lust
Why
Do we try so hard
Then put up a guard
Why
When we get near
We fear
Why
Do we dream
Then scream
Why
Do we pretend
It will not end
Why
Do we hold back tears
For years
Why
Do we think the hurt will heal
Deny it was real
Why
Did we not share
And never dared
Why
Were we best friends
Then never again
#why
  Aug 2018 Angel-like rain castle
Nyx

Dear Older brother
You're never around
My Dear older brother
it's seemed you've dropped your crown

I've grown up knowing you merely by name
I didn't grow up with you
I haven't seen your bad days
Thou I do know somethings to be true

I know of a niece of mine
She a daughter of yours
Her name is Brianna
I still remember after all these years

She's kind and sweet
very loud and obnoxious
though you neglected her
She's always been quite cautious

You're the ghost of the family
The so called black sheep
Disappearing from existence
though nobody seemed to weep

In the past you were quite the rebel
  You grew **** in pots
Shoved them high in the trees
But that was a terrible hiding spot

I heard father tell me
You were part of the wrong crowd
You became a well known drug dealer
Going around this old town

I called you awhile ago
To inform you grandma died
But you didn't know who i was
Don't worry about it I replied

Half the same blood
We hold in our bodies
But clearly nothing alike
We aren't carbon copies

I wish though sometimes within the night
That you could have been a real brother
And a real father to your daughter
Instead of a stranger like any other

But time passes like everything else
There is no point hoping for the impossible
So to my so called dear older brother
I hope you can care for somebody
If thats even possible

Nick

I'm here sitting
alone,
the smell of coffee runs through
my veins,
some music i probably will forget
in a few years arguing with
the thought of you,

But I'm here,
I'm here,
writing about what's happening

pretty boring huh?

i call myself a poet
but i can't use high metaphors,

i call myself a poet
but i can't describe fully
how you make me feel

i call myself a poet

but what am i?

I'm just a kid
scared of life
finding new ways to cope
searching for someone to love,
desperate,
not holding unto my dreams
how can i choose with my mind
what's right for the heart to choose.

and you see?
don't you see?

don't worry i can't either

i can't see how great i am
i can't see how other people see me
i wish i could.

i want to believe this was a dream
or
a nightmare at that.

But at last.
I'm here wishing that in another life
i could be with you,
or
maybe in other deaths,

i crave your touch,
i crave you..
with coffee waking up my senses
like a kid in summer waking up early
to go play with his friends.

i wish things were different,
so i wouldn't have to wish.
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