Alfa - Hello Poetry

Alfa Apr 2019

I'm telling your ex,
She Missed Out.
That she shouldn't have cheated on you- so you don't doubt all your relationships after.
So you don't feel like you're hanging on every word I say and tread around our problems because you're scared I'm the same way.

I'm telling your ex,
She Was Wrong.
You're not the monster you think you are, you're not helpless or hopeless or a ***** up. You're so much more than you think you are.

I'm telling your ex,
She Needs To Apologize.
I mean get on her knees and scrounge for mercy-
because she doesn't see the pain shes caused through her careless acts everyday and there's no way to build someone up when all the pieces of them are shattered.

She doesn't see you when you grind your teeth at night and wake up from a dream scared I'm going to cheat on you too.
She doesn't see you wince when I hug you because she jabbed you with her fingers on your sides.
She doesn't see when I say I love you and I see the look in your eyes like you almost believe it then shut it out like you'll always be second best to a ghost that doesn't exist.

If I see your ex, I'll say,
You don't get to go in peoples lives and destroy them like a tornado. You're not the wishing star people grew up wanting. You're the crash and burn after finals week, when you've had one too many drinks at a bar, when you eat too much greasy food and lay in bed feeling disgusting.

Alfa Mar 2019

In My Living Room

Life is unbearably beautiful.

sit on the couch and look at you-
soft sounds of your controller moving-
sweet face looks over and says

"I love you".

Alfa Mar 2019

Stranger

I yearn for the sweet embrace of happiness again
I've forgotten how it feels to smile.

When I think of what I cannot change,
it drags me down for a while.

Then I eat, eat, eat,
till all my problems go away

and when I look in the mirror, I see someone who is not me.

#stranger

Alfa Mar 2019

Untitled

I fear you've become my temptation-

when I think about the sunlight hitting your face just right
the yellow-red sun beating off your face
soft pink smiles and
your waist close to my body
the warmth of you brings me pure joy.
as you lightly touch your hand across my face-
and look at me with pale green eyes,
I hold you close as my body trembles-

and awoke to a dark room without you by my side.

Alfa Mar 2019

.

I got my period again on the same month I did last year.
I haven't had it for approximately a year.
I was beginning to think I was bringing new life.

it's a child's dream, and I'm playing limbo with my time.

Alfa Dec 2018

Tell Me

You help me reach the full feeling of ecstasy
with rusted chained locked lips waiting to be freed.

Tell me quickly before they find out,
tell me softly the four lettered word,

Let time stand still before your trembling lips,
and let us fill each others hollowed bodies with our former sorrows.

I wanted this poem to feel like anticipation, like words that were never spoken and like you're rushing someone to say something, but they just don't tell you in time, so then the thought sticks in the air... forever.

#love #*** #insecurity

Alfa Nov 2018

Hollow

Empty the sea water into my veins,
discard your ice on my worn body,
give me up against the tides,
cast me away so no one finds me,
and if they try all they’ll find is an abandoned body.

how it feels to drown

#abuse #abusive #sad #depressed #child #childhood #sea #water #hollow #abandoned