My love for you consumes me.
Yet I step back.
Fully knowing that you keep me high up on a pedestal and adoringly love me for who I am, no judgements.
Then why this back and forth?
Is it time or distance or our varied lifestyle or personality or is it just the undecided me?
It was never meant to be.
Yet I'm addicted to your calming reasonable voice.
You always find me in my darkness.
Is it just my selfish need?
How cruel can I be?
You know the answer to this,
It's to stay away from the likes of me.
Yet determination failed us.
Maybe this time you'll succeed?

I do not know where I am.
I do not recognize this place.
This darkness feels so empty.
Maybe it would help you decide if I tell you where I come from.
Misunderstood, broken, verbally abused.
Fat shamed and even made fun of because of my looks!
It all adds up to my path to insanity.
All I ever wanted was love and tranquility.
But fate decided that it should be denied.
Now all I have are my failed attempts at filling up that deep black empty void.
Romanticized so many ways to give up my life.
But my hesitation should be viewed as courage or cowardice?
Now as I lay here contemplating the reason for my existence through all this pain,
should I try my hand at giving up my life again?

You are no longer bound to your past,
or to anything or anyone that made you cry.

You are no longer bound to your mistakes,
to your actions or to the way you speak.

You are no longer bound to ask forgiveness,
or to seek approval or ask chances.

Remember that you are bound for greater things:
for travel trips, good education and more than flings.

You are bound to live a life that lights others.
You are bound to share your dreams and aspirations.

So get out now from your cave,
because you my little angel is what the world need.

Just breathe and be free