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I can see in the dark.
And it hurts my head.
I close my eyes but still see the light.
I don’t want to see it, I’m aching, so exhausted.
Everyday there’s something wrong and every night there’s something keeping me up.
The dreams are not vivid.
The people in it are invisible.

It gets old to be here.
Everything gets old.
Feels old.
Not in a good old way but lame, unexciting, uninteresting.
I’ve heard it all before, I’ve seen enough.
I want to be new, feel new, everything.
Sparkling, alive.

I see in the dark, distracting.
It hurts.
I need that light off if there’s nothing good.
To see.
To feel.
To be.
Where the dreams are not vivid.
Not feeling much, only unpleasant.
06-08-24
Man's salvation is
compromised by ignoring
the voice of conscience
__
A Senryu written late '21.
left my phone unlocked
on the taxi’s back seat,
won't be the last time

called it a few times
finally, the driver picked up

he had a fare immediately after mine,
and was now headed way downtown,
and would call later
when fate returned him nearer my office

and so it came to pass,
very shortly thereafter,

we met on the street,
he rolled down  the window
and with the greatest smile of pleasure,
as if he had won the lottery
beaming,
handed me my phone

I had two $20's to cover any expense he might have incurred,
neatly folded in my hand  
and offered it right up, right away;
but the driver repeatedly pushed my hand away
as I insisted,
saying:

"No sir, no no, not necessary!

Allah sent me a fare
that took me soon back close to you, so,
  no loss of time did I suffer,
so your offer is kindly unnecessary!"


to which I replied,

"exactly!
Allah sent you to me
so I could reward you!"


and with an equally, beaming smile I continued,

"our ride and meeting today,
together was pre-ordained it was


Inshallah!" ^

something he could not dispute...
or my knowledge thereof and it’s
proper pronouncement,
nor
his amazement,
to disguise!

  we parted ways
   each believing,
   each receiving,
a heavenly check plus,
each, credited with a mitzvah^^
on our
respective trip logs,
our humanly divine balance sheets,
kept by the
single
supreme taxi dispatcher
Arabic for ^"God/Allah willing" or "if God/Allah wills," frequently spoken by a Muslim


^^a meritorious or charitable act in the Jewish tradition

FYI,
NYC taxi cab drivers are suffering economically by the explosion of ride hailing app cars, many unable to pay their bills, earn a living, have committed suicide over the past few months
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/sixth-new-york-city-cab-driver-dies-suicide-after-struggling-n883886

true story, poetry is there for the taking
 Aug 2024 The Invisible Lantern
A
Let me hug you.
Let me console you.
Let me take care of you.

"Are you in pain?"
Old man, you left me there
Floating, drowning in the sea
So now that I've finally made it back to land
Don't pretend you still know me
Could this be real
That after a year
I fell for you again

Stronger than the first time
Not drunk from wine
But from your cup of tea
Love as broad as the sea

I’m full of happiness and joy
My handsome and charming boy
The bound is stronger
And I adore you more than ever
My lover.
she: what is it about me?
he: what do you mean?
she: me...?
he: uh...
she: what don't i have?
he: uh...
she: i'm overweight...
he: um...
she: i'm unattractive
he: what?...
she: i'm boring
he: no...
she: i'm dumb
he: uh, well....
she: i give up
he: well, i....
she: nope, that's it, i give up
he: oh, come on...
she: quit trying to talk me out of it
he: i was only...
she: i'm done, good bye
he: wait, what, where are you...
she: have a good life
          he:.....
he:....
he: what about dinner?
Her eyes are so beautiful, causing a shine in my own
Her lips look so kissable from here, i wonder if she’s using a new chapstick
Her hands look so soft, I want to feel them in my own
I want to wrap my arms around her, but alas, she is not my fire to warm myself
So I will continue down the path, but oh such a tempting flame she is
I hung out with a friend who I’ve always had a major crush on, but it’s too late for me because she found her perfect man already. But, I won’t let that change my love for her as a friend
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