Do you really want it to die,
To whither away to non existence,
For us to be extinct,
Our flame extinguished

Our connection is the strongest
I don’t want this to end
I’m coming home to you
My gorgeous friend

You say you want to hide
And that i must ignore
Because if I chose to listen
You will close the door

Sure we have been here
Just like before
Only this time it feels different
Like we are destined for much more

I draw a deep cold breath and my mind starts to clear. I don't want to be here stupid I no longer care... It's a long windy road but the end is near, I can't wait to reach the end but the path ain't clear. With each breath this fear starts to lift, this  curse starts to shift. This anger rises within....

This anger is not directed its with out intent. With out intent this anger I vent is not meant... It's violent with out merit, berating and hating, mutilating, aggravating and always suffocating..

I don't want to be here stupid I no longer care.. It's a long windy road but the end is near.....

Clarity and transparency arn't friends of mine. Condescending, never ending this permanent state of mind. Forever pretending and awfully offending my doom impending my mind bending....

I don't want to be here stupid................

Seething with anger
exploding with rage
for all you little people - I am coming out of my cage.
How dare you judge me, spill your ******* lies
you hypocrites, you small insignificant *****.
Today you sat in front of me
tried to make me feel small
cap in hand is what you wanted
instead I give you my sizeable *****.
I will own the day
and drive you into the night
you are nothing with out me
all around you will close.
I’ll play your game for now
let you think you have me
the sun will rise and you will fade
along with your *****, stinking lies.

The question is should I use the scalpel or the tablets to take my life;

I am sorry to all those who trusted me,
Sorry to all those who cared,
Sorry to my little apprentices the two I hold so dear,
Sorry to everyone who loves me - I tried to love you back;

I am sorry I didn’t stand up for my self
Sorry I was weak
Sorry I just took it
Sorry I didn’t speak up - I tried but my words choked me;

I am sorry for my indiscretions
Sorry for my depression
Sorry for my lack of control
Sorry I can’t control my demons - I tried to, I really did;

It’s time to stop apologising, it’s time to bring about an end;

So with these final words my friends I say goodbye, god bless and farewell;

Do not pretend to know me
my resolve knows no bounds
you have no idea what I’ve seen
or where I have been

You claim to understand me
yet you always put me down
you have no idea of the desire I hold
to be the better man

You sit there and stare at me
nothing in your eyes
when will you realise, I hate all
these ******* lies

This life that’s carved out
the constant doubt and mistrust
it’s all about to end of that I have no doubt

I am stood in front of you
emotionally naked
completely bare
do not dare to see this as weakness

I walk away from you
with everything to live for
I cannot stop this from happening
I will be part of this no more