MJS - Hello Poetry

MJS Jan 2018

F**K YOU

You cunning beast, you slippery ****, how dare you trick me and pull me down into this rut.

You occupy my mind and devour my soul, you empower my dark side and shake off my good will.

I hate you, I fear you, yet I have to be near you

C’mon then let’s do this. I’d hate for you to confuse this. Grip my heart and pull it out.

*******..

I have no doubt of that I’m sure, heck I’ve said it before ******* GET OUT..

I surrender my will, take it it’s yours.

In a fit of mental anguish. On the surface I am calm but inside I’m gone...

MJS Jan 2018

How could I possibly

I want to reach out and touch you
I want to tell you I care
This cage I have built restrains me
How can I possibly be there

I hear your words and they haunt me
My own guilt and self loathing taunt me
Paying my penance a constant tenant this destructive state of mind.

MJS Jan 2018

Lying in bed

I'm cracking up,
you're sinking down,
lying in bed awake,
can you not hear me cry,
you want me to save you,
but, I can't even save myself.

MJS Jan 2018

Untitled

Hello my woozy friend
I have missed you
welcome back
fog my brain and make me feel heavy
you know I am ready
take my pain and blot it out
but don’t you dare shout
this is our secret, just me myself and I.

MJS Jan 2018

My mate Dave...

David is a strange fellow
always a little too mellow
he will sleep for days
walk around in a haze
he hates company and loathes to talk
just try him – “F**K YOU” he will squawk

He takes some coaxing but will ‘snap out of it’ soon
he will leave me for days, weeks or the next full moon
his visits are often unannounced
but “rest assured” he whispers “I can always pounce”

My dark passenger

#depression #sadness #bipolar

MJS Jan 2018

Confused

My malevolence and brooding petulance
                              a display of impetuousness is all
                                                        part of my
                                                        presence

or is it.....
                ?

#confused

MJS Jan 2018

Angst

Stuck in this hell hole with no hope of a rope.

I am here but no one hears me
I am sinking like I can't cope.

If only they knew how much I wanted out,
If only...
If only they could understand my pain,
if only...
If only they knew I couldn't leave,
If only....

Climbing up from the depth of doubt
My mind can't take any more and I know this
If only I could focus and solve this
Why is this hard
shouldn't it be easy
Please, I need to find a way to appeases me

If only they knew.....

I am out of control I can’t do this
no way to hide and defuse this
I can't help how I feel I need to loose this

If only they knew....