She is a spindle on my bed
Reminding me of my mumma
Sweating on my sheets,
naked, lewd, romanticizing me
Not knowing I hide her
from my friends and family
Not knowing I drink, pop
uppers, downers, as I prop
Up against the headboard
and as I watch her cradle
Her head between my
Half Caucasian, Half ******
Thighs, riddled with scars
Seven years old, one year older
Than the baby I gave up.
I wonder how I taste, how
I look, Do I taste like shame,
Do I taste like love forgotten
Do I look like the ******
The city girls gossip that I am
Can you see the removal,
The crib I threw my child from
The trauma that caused me to
Abandon him, to abandon me,
What will cause me
To abandon you
Sarah, my love, where have I gone
Why have I left you, bloodless,
Soulless in the pitch black dreary
Gravelled upon the smoothness
Of my deceitful, coarse projection
Sarah, I am sorry that my shame
Coerced me to run from your
Eternal rays downward on my
Dimpled, crooked smile, on my
Dimpled brown ***, attached to
My snakey spine, what holds
My ribs, what protects my lungs
Which do nothing but breathe
You.