It’s pounding like a drum.
When I’m not with you, I feel numb.
The hole in my heart is usually wide.
But it’s smaller, now that you’re by my side.
Some memories, I just want to bury.
And yet, when I’m with you, everything is new and scary.
My heart skips a beat when you reply.
What I wouldn’t give to just say “hi.”
Without feeling dumb.
When I miss something up, I feel like ****.
Sometimes, I don’t even know what to do.
But in the end, I still love you.

An image.
I look at it from time to time.
It was birthed from nothingness.
I remember those old photos. The ones that developed after some time.
You shook them and they—
It’s beautiful, isn’t it?
A perfect representation of triumph and ambition and strength.
All rolled into one still frame.
It’s unmoving, yet it conveys so much.
It’s powerful, even now, invoking emotions within me I haven’t felt before.
Pride. Determination.
Love.
And then, I realize I’m crying.
Because…I see those things when I look at you.
Are you that portrait? That display of strength?
It doesn’t matter. I…still remember when you wrapped your arms around me.
You become something else in that moment.
A display of…passion. Guardianship. Amorous.
That moment. I can’t shake it.
It’s encapsulated in my mind.

Is it weird
To miss someone
You’ve never met?

Hey, dummy.  
I have this feeling in my tummy.  
It feels weird, like a constant pang.  
A rhythmic sound in my head, sounding like a bang.  
A constant echoing.  
That just keeps bellowing.

I’ve always liked you, you know.  
Or maybe you don’t, considering you never show  
When I want to go to all these places  
I swear there’s a crack between the spaces  
In my mind  
Every request I shot your way, you declined.  
It hurts, it hurts so bad  
How did I end up feeling this sad?  
Day after day, week after week  
I can’t help but feel more bleak

I want to confess, I really do.  
But I don’t know if you’ll feel the same way too.  
Every day, when we hang out  
You just want to do your own thing; it feels me with doubt  


Whatever, you dummy!  
Who cares if I’m feeling more and more crummy?  
It doesn’t matter, right? My feelings don’t mean anything.  
But then again, I can’t help but feel you’re my everything.  
I want to tell you how I feel.  
But…are my feelings even real?  
I can’t think! I can’t decide!  
Why am I still crying inside?

I can’t let you see.  
What’s really inside me.  
All this pain, it belongs in here  
Along with all of these moments I hold dear.  
I cherish my time with you.  
Sometimes, I’m wondering if my feelings are true.  
I’m tired of feeling this way  
But I just can’t let you walk away.  
If I tell you the truth, what will become of us?  
Will you just leave me to turn to dust?  

Ugh! I can’t make up my mind!  
Am I dense or am I just blind?  
The truth is here, right in front of me!  
Then why can’t I just let my feelings be?  
What am I afraid of?  
Am I afraid of rejection or love?  
I don’t know, the clouds in my head are swirling.  
This pain in my heart…it just keeps burning.  
I have to do something to make this stop.  
I might as well just let the truth drop.