I have nothing to bring but these empty hands.
My eyes can't see and my legs can't stand.
My heart stumbles on things I don't know.
And my life feels like it's just another show.
If you understand this then you understand me.
I cannot guide others if I am unable to see.

I promised not to fall
So you held on tightly
Your arms always wrapped around me
You could have been my armor then
I though I was sturdy
I wanted to be strong
But I felt my knees giving way to my surroundings
I felt my feet blistering from the paths I've chosen
I knew I was going down
I knew I needed to tell you
So you could land on your feet
But my mouth couldn't open
Until the ground was right in front of us

Your love comes with pain

Beaten purple and blue

The feelings of life

The colors of you

Red is a constant

You call it your clever hue

Yellow is the one i'm waiting for

One day I hope it makes a breakthrough

My heart wanders as if I'm free to roam the world with no restrictions. But I see the walls. I know I'm stuck. I'm trapped and i know that in my mind. It just hasn't broken through to my heart. Because even with the drugs it's so hard to confine a heart that knows it was always meant to be free.

We started to blend together
Our colors bleed into each other as this life's water rinses the pain between us
I don't know where I end or where you begin
But I know I'm where I want to be
Twisted and tangled within this kaleidoscope of our combined chaos and joy
I will be forever pleading that we never forget this feeling
We are one in the same

The first thing that registers is the warmth
The feeling of it on my hands
It's revitalizing
Like a cure
Spreading through my veins
Bringing dead cells back to life
Then the color
I was never able to imagine the red sea
But now it is in front of me
Spilling and spewing
From...you
Now there is only you
What to do with you?

I'm standing now
In the corner of all places
I'm trying to remember walking here
My hands are shaking
I can't explain why
I haven't felt this calm in...well ever
Its the silence
As if it is it's own entity
It has created a serene and tranquil atmosphere around me
Now that I look around it seems I've done some cleaning too
The sea is gone
But you are still there
Your hair is darker
I guess you went for a swim
It looks nice on you

I never imagined you
to be this heavy
I thought I was stronger
I also thought you would be lighter
Guess I'm wrong on both counts
To think once we die we would be lighter
Since nothing of this world is weighing us down anymore
Unless...you just leave it all behind
The pain, anger, sadness, heartbreak
All of that stays here
Where it should be
That must be why you are so heavy now
You are still dumping all your problems on me even after you are gone

I shovel the last lump of dirt into place
I thought once you were buried
I would feel...something
Happy
Maybe even free
But I feel nothing
Nothing is a constant for me
but now
you and I are the same
Hollow inside
Your soul has departed from this world
And mine
well I'm not sure I ever had one to begin with

I thought it was over
Done with
The feelings
The urges
They are still here
I thought it was only for you
I thought I only needed to get rid of you
With you gone the fighting is over
I never have to pretend to not see the bruises again
She is smiling now
But you have a friend
Actually you might not know him but you are the same
And she is the same
I think i have to help her too
I will make her smile again

I saw this beautiful soul drifting towards me.
She was carried by the waves of life to my lonely island.
I embraced her with open arms.
My solitude had gone on for far too long.
I think hers had too.
Opening up and letting her in was one of the hardest parts.
Yet it came so easily.
My heart formed words so fast that my mind didn't have time to comprehend all that I told her.
She accepted everything I said with no signs of judgement.
I listened to every word she was willing to share with me.
I heard all of the happiness as well as all of the pain.
And I loved the person I saw within her.
I'm still a prisoner of my own mind.
Trapped behind these walls that I have built.
But I was ready for someone to see me.
And my heart chose her.

You look at me. Waiting for me to spill. Waiting for my heart to overflow. Waiting for everything you want me to say to come tumbling out of my mouth.
But I never will. I never will tell you that I think about you constantly. I never will tell you that I want to s]pend everyday with you. I never will tell you that when you look at me I want to give you everything. I never will tell you that you are my everything.
Because you are taken. When you go home you have someone. But, for me, I have no one.
So I will wait. I will wait for you to spill. I will wait for your heart to overflow. I will wait for everything I want you to say to come tumbling out of your mouth.

Going down these turning roads she tried to release her painful loads. Faces passed her in a blur, she starred straight not causing a stir. While trying to leave by walking away from all the pain of yesterday.

On her journey she went through trials. Most of them lasting for many miles. In her heart anger and sadness brewed, wishing she could walk in someone else's shoes.

Then one day with a start she realizes she must depart. From all the anger and sadness inside and with this realization she broke down and cried. While trying to leave by walking away from all the pain of yesterday.

Looking back she remembers many things. Seeing all the memories hanging by strings. But now she is grateful for the pain and strife that she went through in her life. While trying to leave by walking away from all the pain of yesterday.

If distance was measured by words our silence would stretch on for miles. If time was measured by suffering our pain will last for centuries. But if life is measured by our love we will live on through them all.

There has not yet been a string of letters strung together in a way to express the deepest repressions of my mind.
I have not yet felt an emotion strong enough to make my life feel as if its worth the amount of effort i put into it.
Nor have I met a person who is able to recognize the sparkle in my eyes as my depression and anger's warning signs of implosion.

I'll wear this noose you gave me like a necklace. I'll embrace this pain you left me with like the love I wish you could have given. I will not break under the constant weight that is now upon my shoulders. I'll carry your load. I'll love in your place. I'll learn the lessons you were supposed to teach me on my own. Just know, we all become what we deserve.