Suicide should only be committed once*
So why the hell do I try every couple months
Something's up with the water
I don't feel the rush like I used to
There's no happiness tutorials on YouTube
I laced together my shoes, through them on a wire and convinced myself to sit and think
The kitchen sink's dishes stink
But you are what you eat and I had a helping of insane

Low key lowlife, broke and high under a spotlight
No ice so there's more drink at the drive thru window with my eyes suspiciously low
I'm ridiculously close to laughing what's left of my mind away
I forgot how it feels to feel fine today
It's either *love or hate and there's no areas of gray

*I wish I had a thousand hours to sit down and figure out exactly what the **** that I've been running from
I wish someone would stick around long enough to identify with the place that I'm coming from

Look at me, I swear I'm clean!
Or atleast I do allude;
To existing in a conform
The terra o' delude
In a ****** reform
Or atleast living I mean

Dance with me, I swear I jive
to a tune of jubilee;
Lowly as obscurity
Repulsive swinging gypsies;
Wriggle in obscenity
Atleast i'm alive...

with Pals once high on relations;
We've lost our ties and inspiration
Ignorantly unhumbled and blinded;
A bitter temptation as the lime did

Oh desire!
You're sending such morse signals
Oh desire!
What have I done to you?
Oh desire!
Tell me the truth- nothing trivial
Oh desire!
Look what I've done to you...

I tried to find an easy way;
Can't say **** but I say it anyway
All choked up on it anywho;
High on me - Dried on you

Oh desire!
You make me cry
Oh desire!
We're both bad liars
Oh desire!
want to dye?
Oh desire!
Dance of fire!

A man does love
Desires' hips
seer of this
Ale axes hint

We once knew a girl
Polite and cold to the touch
Icy slopes that called her home
Still young and yet to unfurl
Words cut short saying so much
Died in her sleep writing a poem

Passed through a dream that night
Angels lifting from the blanket hug
Daylight came and she couldn't wake
Greeting father rose to the morbid fright
Grasped her hand and began to tug
Cried a hymn he just couldn't take

Friends at school didn't know she was gone
Laughed profusely 'til the deafening announcement
The intercom obituary stuttered and hallowed
That the golden lock girl had moved on
Pulling the threads of most at that moment
The closer of them mourned and bellowed

Noon grew somber and tears were of many
The girls held each other so firmly
The boys grew silent and shed what they could
Plans were made to remember the memory
A lot one over glistened with suited formality
I didn't attend and I regret as I should

In a flash she went there
In the flash she'll stay here
It's all flash after all....

you know who you are-

if you are reading this i am sorry.
truly sorry