being alone
2. spiders
3. ghosts and demons
4. being watched by a ghost
5. creepy noises when I’m sleeping
6. my anxiety consuming me
7. my depression consuming me
8. the dark of my bad days
9. death…
10. you leaving me
11. you lying to me about how you feel
12. you cheating on me
13. you loving another girl while you’re with me
14. you just learning to love someone else
15. that I’m not enough
16. that I’m not enough for you…
17. that everything you have ever told me has all been a lie
18. that one day I will be a bad mother
19. that one day I will be a bad wife
20. that I will remain a bad person forever
21. that I might ever not learn to love myself the way I deserve
22. that I won’t be happy
23. that I actually am a bad person
24. that people talk about me behind my back
25. that no one actually likes me for who I am
26. that everybody is faking
27. that everybody really hates me
28. that I deserve all of this…
29. bugs
30. bats
31. ants
32. snakes
33. creepy old men
34. the internet
35. people who don’t know me
36. people who will hurt me
37. people who think I deserve the way they treat me
38. people who hurt me regardless
39. people who don’t care about me
40. being broken again and again and again…

i do not enjoy having a collection of sticky notes
covered in conversation topics
because you never held up your end
it is true that one person always loves more
but the other side needs to give something
you knew this would happen when i have to go for my own self respect
i should have known when you stopped sending good morning texts
or when your texts didn't come at all until late at night

maybe i should've turned my phone off or leave you on read
when you told me about the first girl, or the second, or the third
but i always thought you were worth it
you always listened, you respected my boundaries
it's probably easy when you have six other girls who will give you what  i protect
you killed me over and over again
and you know it

Open your hands
Where there could be dust
There could be diamonds

If  only l could turn back the hands of time
I would

If only I could reach to you and bring you back
I would

If only l could fulfill the fond promises
I wound

If only l could pick you from my dreams and hug you for real
I would

In simple words Return If  Possible