The plastic bag rolls against the wind
Once again, to let the sun glisten
Those brunette curls as the wind takes them
As they swim through the air,
Right into my arms,
With those watering eyes
And trembling lips
I simply cannot resist.
For once again,
Another has broken you,
And once again, I’ll prove
That men aren’t all bad.
Without you I drink the thought of you away,
And with you, I drink the red flags away
That cloud my vision
With warning signs.

It almost seems too easy
My sympathy already being taken advantage of
Yet knowing this, I wring out enough trust
From my cloth of chances
That you’ve let be used up.
You’re nothing but a snake
And my emotions are contained
Like a paperback novel
In the rain;
My heart is breaking
Feeling the pounding of yours
Knowing yours has been working fine,
While my shaking
Is not from the weather
Nor the tearing inside,
For I know that this plastic bag
Will drift away once again
When the wind breathes just right
And another bystander of yours walks by,

But you’ll leave a memory
On my table
For the last time,
And the plastic bag you left,
Will be the last sound
I hear,
After liquid courage rivets
My sensible nature into a cage,
And I hear it rustle
As the leaves did
When first you entranced me
With my inhales forced inaudible
Just as forced audible
They were laying in the grass
And I’ll play that image
In my head
Of the first moment I felt alive,
Until I fade out, lay still,
Never to breathe out again.

When my lungs can no longer fill
To give oxygen to the blood
That my weakening heart fights to pump
And my brain begins to flood
With chemicals stronger than any psychedelic
I won’t panic
But simply embrace the hands of death
As they take the last drops of life from my body
And gently close my eyelids

Knowing they will never again open
I will spend my last moments dreaming

In this dream I will be reunited with you
No bodies that break and crumble
No nationalities, because there are no nations
No genders, no colors, only our consciousnesses
No pain, no cold and no uncomfortable warmth
No noise, no language or need for talking
We will speak in feelings and thoughts
That with perfect clarity are simply known
When we’ve left this world
We’ll create one of our own
But first
Enjoy pure existence
Just us.

Nothing we need to do
Nothing we need
Just eternity to be together
Free from the bonds of this reality.

For all the effort that goes into them.
Dreams and games fail to replicate reality.
I've been able to let myself become immersed,
Totally enveloped in artificial worlds,
But a simple mistake can be a thread,
That undoes the entire tapestry.
I'm forced from the illusion,
Back into reality.
But lately some things don't make sense,
And real has never felt more fake.
I can't help myself from wondering,
Is there something else waiting if I pull this thread?

I'm laying on a bed of nails
Waiting for the phone call
To be the hand on my chest
To push me down

Are you aware
Of what you force upon me?
My emotional well
Is dry and I've beaten my head
Against the stones
Bleeding until there's enough
To pour onto a page
Why do you call me so ******* late?

Why do you even bother
Calling me
At all?

Laying beside
Direction the same
Aligned against
Hands on your stomach
Staring at the black threads
That streak down
Never out of place
I memorize each thread
Questioning if you even
Recognize me
After gazing at the wall for so long
Almost lifeless
But laying alone, myself,
I'd rather be buried.

It kills me knowing
You're away in your head
Not present to feel
The touch of my fingertips
Or the silent breathing
Against skin

I lay in wishing
With each breath
That you'll remember me
Longer than the next morning
I lay in hope
That when you face me
You won't tire of what you see.

I lay in desperation
And in fear
Of losing you
With ourselves sitting,
Watching
These eyes and heart
Fading away
Less than an arm's reach
From the desired dream
Less than an arm's reach
When I'll lose you

And I'll be cast
Into detriment
Soaked in self-loathing
Screaming internally
At my mistakes.

I miss waking up with the sun
And not worrying about a thing
The only thing on my mind
Was what games I might play that day
And it was fine
I had nothing and no one
To be responsible for
Just make sure that all of my toys
End up in the chest
And my bed is made every morning

I miss when twenty dollars
Felt like all the money in the world
And for me it was
It was enough for all I wanted
I miss only having wants
Never worrying about needs

Life was just so simple.

A descriptive word
I not often would present
To myself
Has been cast in blindness
By the spotlight

The curtain distorts
The intentions
Of even my own
Acknowledgment

Dwelling at my reflection in the water
When ripples form
At another coin I toss
Wishing

Wishing at a well
Instead of planning,
Because planning
Makes the dream real,
And I’m afraid of reality.

I could spend my whole life
Staring into my reflection
Debating on what I'm worthy of wishing,
Instead of not letting those thoughts
Take over my mind
Fidgeting with coins between my fingers
Before I inevitably let flick,
Instead of pretending I believe in myself
And take a chance on something.

Why would I rather
Be alone
Than run into
Your open arms
Waiting for me?

What things are so important
That I cannot just turn away
So easily?
Doing nothing
Instead of loving.

What the hell is wrong with me?