Can I keep doing this?
Pushing on uninspired every day..
Creating things I hate
Not because of what they are
But because I had to make them
It's a shame, because you could've been loved
if I'd have loved you when I made you
But even the gentle stream
Destroys the bolder with time.

No matter how much I change,
You will always see the face of the me who hurt you.
I guess the truth is I’m inescapable though.
I’m never someone new, just the same me but bigger.
My brain gets a few more wrinkles,
And I try to be better than I was yesterday.

How can you do that to somebody,
After telling them you loved them?
Believe the lies you tell yourself,
And pass them on to people who care?
They deserve better, you know?
You really don’t think you could be better?

It doesn’t really matter anymore,
No apologies will fix this.
Every word breathed in desperation for forgiveness,
Is like burning acid rain on their soul.
Your presence only serves as a reminder of the danger of trust,
So you’re better gone than forgiven.

Often, an image returns to my brain
That makes me shudder
I drive myself insane
Over the words I'm too afraid to utter
About a stain that I've kept hidden
A part of my history quarantined
Can I ever outrun this past?
Will my conscience ever be cleaned?

Or am I just trying to run from my own shadow?

Torches march alone
Deep inside the stone wall
That imprisons me.

A drastic change
Comes from the heart
Tearing strings
Like guitar picks

I’m dying,
Aren’t I?
Starvation fills my body
When I wake
Even though I had a full plate

Surely it’s not the
Sporadic over drinking
To chase a numb
Or catch a high
From ghost peppers

Why does this pain
Seem chronic
And more often
Than less recent?

What am I to do
But question the sky
And falter?
I know not of the answer.

Will I go out like the sun
Yellow, orange, red, and pink
Burning until the end?
Or will I be like the moon
And quietly let the coming light
erase me from the sky?

Save me from my remnants,
That flake away
From my soul.

Bury me alive,
Away from those
Who draw me in so easily.

An emotional scratching post
To them is all
I ever was,

Reach inside
My hollow chest
And finish what they started,

For I am nothing but a seed
Traversing this
Barren dirt,

Left only to
My dire thoughts,
Taking slowly my life essence.

The clouds, they overcast this
True face with a
Gilded mask,

As I'm left to
Scream beneath it,
Oh, save me from my remnants.

The uncontrollable urge
To gaze upon the macabre
We're trapped here
Our consciousness cannot escape
But only cease
So some are drawn to the dying
A morbid curiosity
To catch a glimpse
Of what lies beyond
The prison walls of living

Temptation
Coming from somewhere so deep
And so dark
To wander just a little closer to the edge
To peek behind the curtain
To take a step closer to the edge of the void
To look for answers
On the edge of a razor blade
Or at the bottom of a bottle of pills
The thought is equally nauseating and exhilerating