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 Sep 2019 Sophie
Jack Jenkins
I'm okay with not being okay
and that's okay
I didn't want to wake up
and face the day today
Didn't want to be alone again
Surrounded only by empty air
and voices in my head
Telling me they've told me
For the millionth time to let go
and I hold on tighter
Let it out but keep the leash on
Let it leech my hopes out of me
But that's okay I guess
I promise I'm okay
Even when I'm not
//On anxiety and depression//
 Sep 2019 Sophie
Jack Jenkins
Today my heart decided to weight down in my chest to keep me grounded in reality. Reality that I love and I hate just as I love and hate myself for reasons only understood if you walked where I walked.

The sun stretched her rays across my face and somehow it reminded me of her, the subtle glow she had at times when everything just felt right. She was a sunset waterfall on a clear summer evening.

God, the thoughts in my head that are stuck like a spin cycle. I fall asleep loving her, wake up missing her, and live every day without her. That thing I mentioned earlier, reality, says she's gone but my heart still says no.

So let me write about everything inside that makes me feel so hollow. She was everything I invested in but could not impress so instead she impressed on me that she wasn't the one for me like she knew better. Maybe darling, we both are wrong.
//On her//
 Sep 2019 Sophie
kaela
questions?
 Sep 2019 Sophie
kaela
would you dry the tears
from my eyes as they fall,
or would you stand there
and do nothing at all?

would you look
me in the eyes and say
that everything will be okay,
or would you just walk away?

what would you do
if i was sad and needed you
to comfort me and make me safe
by holding me in your embrace?

would you give me
your hand to hold
when mine was lonely
and ice cold?

can we be together
till the end of time
where i'll steal your heart
and you steal mine?

i need you
that's easy to see
stay forever
and be with me?
one i wrote a few days ago but never posted
 Sep 2019 Sophie
kaela
i'll be there
 Sep 2019 Sophie
kaela
one day,
i will be dead,
and it will be true.
i will sit in a dark cave
thinking of you.

i'll send all my love
and every drop of care.
you may not see me,
but i will be there.

helping you
along the way
each and every
single day.

i will never disappear,
even after i'm gone.
i will still be with you,
from thereon.

i'll be there,
in the whispers you hear.
i will be there
whispering in your ear,
drying every tear
that you shed;
in every poem
that you left unread,
in everything you want to forget,
but i won't let you yet.

i will replace
all the bad.
and put in it's place,
i will put the glad.

the good,
the happy,
replace the ******,
and especially,
put in the sappy.
 Sep 2019 Sophie
kaela
are you depressed?
nope i'm just stressed.
are you sad?
no, why do you ask?

are you okay?
what am i supposed to say,
do i tell them the truth?
or should i hide
behind the lie
and say that "i'm fine"?
 Sep 2019 Sophie
Jack Jenkins
You're an unknown,
An apocalypse waiting for someone to say "yes"
When the storm brews and bruises everything you know,
What is there to show or to tell?
Battered hearts strewn at show & tell;
Go tell the teacher we're all hurting down here;
Our pride keeps us from looking up, so we look down and let our tears water the grass and we call ourselves gods for that;
Like surviving a broken heart is a supernatural power
that surviving love transforms us into super heroes;
Nothing about us is super or heroic;
We're just all broken to varying degrees
//On life//
 Sep 2019 Sophie
Edward
Your love is always perfect, it is always real as well.
You have brought me close to some Great poets ever.
In fact I would say the greatest poets that live today.
I appreciate that I can really enjoy their beautiful writes.
So one thing that I am asking you O Saving God tonight.
You are already using them mightily double that portion.
In each of the make their poems twice as beautiful please.
Also make their poems twice as powerful as they were before.
Bless them with doubling their poetry talent in every way now.
 Sep 2019 Sophie
Jack Jenkins
Wave
 Sep 2019 Sophie
Jack Jenkins
Amazing how for no reason//
Everything will remind me of her//
And all this weight I carry on my spine//
Breaks my mind in two//
The past//
The present//
The what-ifs//
The colors of reality move in slow motion//
Just like the memory reel playing in my head//
Lost in thought and talking to ghosts//
These headaches don't go away anymore//
I'm drowning in the deserts of my mind//
Let it go, hold on, it's all the same
Sterile and stoic madness, shame//
I lay down and dream to never wake//
//on her, life, and depression//
 Sep 2019 Sophie
Jack Jenkins
Anxiety is depression without the resignation;
the teetering hope on the cliff edge, not knowing if it will fall or right itself.
//on anxiety//
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