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Someone Apr 2015
10.) Do not go searching for him in the bars around your hometown. You will see his face, but not how you remember it. It will be warped, his mouth in the shape of a sly smile, and you will not be able to recognize it. That will destroy you.
9.) Do not drink your sadness away. No matter how hard you try to destroy the way he tastes with the sterilization of alcohol, it will still linger. It will become a stain, and you will be confused, because alcohol is supposed to make you forget. So do your liver a favor.
8.) You will not follow that advice. So when you do drink, keep your phone hidden in the same place you hid the drugs from him. If you don't hide your phone, you will call him and beg for another chance. That chance will come in the form of sloppy kisses and flushed skin. You will wake up the next morning wandering what happened, alone, skin still stinging.
7.) Stop calling him just to hear his voice. He doesn't even think about yours anymore. Stop thinking about the moans he made when he stretched. Stop thinking about the way he whispered "I love you," because when you do, it will lose all of its power, and all you'll be able to focus on was the fact that he never meant a word of it. That will be the moment you start to resent him.
6.) Stop ******* writing about him. It's not even him you write about anymore, he doesn't exist the same way to you. You're writing about how you wish he could be. You're blowing things out of proportion, and you're only hurting yourself. He will never read it. And if he does, all he will do is correct your spelling. So save your paper.
5.) Those pictures you saved? Delete them. The sooner you delete them, the sooner you can forget about his hands. The sooner you can forget about his eyes, which you thought were brown, but you later found out that they change into a brilliant mixture of colors in the sunlight. The sooner you delete the pictures, the sooner you can hopefully scratch every image of his perfection out of your ******* eyes. He still has your pictures. Not the ones you're hoping he still has. The others.
4.) Stop searching for him in every stranger. Stop picking out all the things that resemble him. That man across the street? He has a similar gait. The man walking towards you? He has a similar inquisitive look on his face. You may find the resemblance, but none of them will ever be the same as him. You will never see the same beautiful collarbones again. You will try to paint them. Throw your paint out.
3.) Stop hoping you'll run into him walking on the same trails as you. Yes, those trails house the secrets of your relationship, and yes, you take the time to cherish them. But all he does is walk all over them. He doesn't walk on the trails that have seen your blossoming relationship, he now walks on the pavement, not even a thought lingering in his head any longer. He told you that pavement is bad for your shins, but he doesn't care anymore. So stop walking there. Find a new trail.
2.) When you're laying in bed at night, stop thinking about how he should be laying next to you. Instead, turn his favorite record off and find solace in yourself. Your bed may be empty, but, didn't you feel the very same emptiness even while he was there?
1.) How to forget the man who broke your heart? Well, if you're one of the lucky ones, you'll fall in love with someone who makes you feel like even the universe is small compared to you. This part, well.. this part I'm still trying to figure out. I'll let you know.
  Apr 2015 Someone
You've only ever seen yourself twice:
once in a reflection,
the other in a picture.

You've never truly seen yourself,
so I'll take the liberty to devote my entire life
to describing the extent of your beauty.

The first thing everyone notices about you is
that smile of yours, dear. It's dazzling. It's distracting.
It's absolutely lovely,
and no mirror nor picture can ever replicate its splendor.
Your warm smile melts the ice, while casual chit chat merely breaks it. When you smile, the edges of your eyes crinkle just the right amount, beckoning amiably.

Your laugh is a waterfall
and I want to spend my days letting it crash down upon me,
I want to drown in its bliss. Your laugh is a lilting balm
to the horrors these ears of mine have heard,
a soothing caress to my worrisome heart and mind.

Your eyes, you underestimate their charm.
You belittle them to simple drops of brown darling but they are transformed into pools of hazel, gold, honey, sepia, and cocoa in the sunlight.
I call them bedroom eyes.
I stare into them not to look at my reflection
but to look into your heart.
You smile with your eyes sometimes,
it's really quite lovely.
It's a shame you're not on the receiving end of it.

Your hair is absolutely stunning.
I could run my hands through it and let my fingers get lost in your curls and meet some bobby pins along the way.
You complain of it often, but
tracing the lines of your steep curls with my eyes
sends me into a happy daze.

On numerous occasions I have said it and I will say it again:
you feel beautiful. Your skin under mine feels absolutely lovely, my dear.
I could spend millennia letting my hands run
the length of your gorgeous body. And I'd do it happily, too.
I love the little moles you've got on your cheeks
and your ironing-board-scar and your lips (both sets).
You were born a blank page but now you're a beautiful work of art with depth and shades and texture.

Your body is a diamond: it is multifaceted and precious and priceless.
And it deserves to be looked at, my dear.
I adore your body, sweetheart. From the scoop of your collarbone,
to the curve of your back; from the gentle definition in your arms and legs
to the stronger curves of your *******.
I love the beckoning rise of your hips and your thighs, and the gentle mound of your ***. I could spend an eternity painting your body with my kisses, each a silent praise to the masterpiece that is your body.
I actually don't like this piece as much but I decided to share regardless. Please feel free to send me edits.
Someone Apr 2015
You always spoke too fast,
And then stopped yourself, apologizing
Mumbling now
You always danced much longer than everyone else at the parties
Did you ever think you'd make it out alive?
I wish the answer was yes
((Even though I knew better))
You always stayed in bed for far too long
And cried much too hard
And loved people who couldn't feel the same
It started to wear on you,
Funny what love can do
It fades
Or did it never exist?
Why am I here? You asked me
You asked me often
I answered the same each time
'You and the universe are the same, and we need you here'
Maybe it wasn't good enough,
Maybe it was my fault,
Maybe It was my fault
You're breathing faster now
I try to calm you down,
It never works,
It never works
I got angry,
Maybe it was my fault-
Is my fault
I don't know how to write anymore
Your hands always guided mine,
Your hands don't exist anymore
You always played your music too loud,
You were only yourself while you were drowning your thoughts out with song
People would yell at you,
And I'd try to sing along
Maybe I didn't sing loud enough
I'll never forget the day you turned your music off,
Both literally and figuratively
An allegory,
Or is it irony?
I don't know anymore
I remember you laying in the wooden bed-
Skin soft, artificially pink
I showed up to your wake, drunk
((Wasn't much of a surprise, was it?))
You'd always told me that you would be the first one to go
Sadly it was true,
Should've been me
I punish myself everyday for it-
Trust me
I showed up drunk
Funny how my veins were filled with the same poison that killed you
Maybe I subconsciously meant to do that
I showed up drunk
I jumped in and tried to resuscitate you,
They dragged me out and gave me this look
This disgusted, disappointed look
And I realized that's how people have been looking at you your entire life,
And I finally understood
They threw me out and I fell to my knees
I understood why you took the blade
Took the blade to your--
I saw you laying in that box,
And wondered where your soul was
I remember those nights,
I remember those late nights
Clutching each other in the cold
Wanting out of this town,
Of this world
I stayed
You relied so heavily on me and
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry I couldn't stop you from lifting the bottle to your lips,
The blade to your wrist,
The gun to your mouth,
I'm sorry I couldn't quiet your thoughts
Now I know how evil they were
I'm sorry I couldn't stop you from lifting the bottle to your lips,
The blade to your wrist,
I made a home in your veins
so when you cut them,
I died with you
I fell to my knees and finally understood
Someone Mar 2015
I see you in every sunset
In every curve and crack
I see you in every girl with messy hair
I even ******* see you in myself
I see you in everything good
Everything sad, everything wonderful
I see you in every silver lining
I see you in every cloudy day
You are my cloudy days
You are my sunsets, and I miss you
I see you in every stupid PT cruiser
Every mountain road
I see you when I sober up from panic
And I see you..
I see you when I'm high out of my ******* mind
And when I'm too drunk for my own good
I see you through bloodshot eyes and slurred words
I ******* see you everywhere
I see you when I don't even want to whisper your name
And I feel guilty for that
Because I love you
I love you so much
I see you in every laugh
Every strangled cry
And in every hysterical mess
And sometimes I want to rip my ******* eyes out
Because I see you when I want to be happy
And it makes me so, undeniably miserable
It's so irrevocably ******
I ******* adore you
And I don't want to go blind and forget you
I want to see you, and feel happy when I see you
And not wonder what I meant to you
I ******* love you
And I ******* miss you
I hope you loved me
I see you, darling
You're ******* everywhere
And I want you to be everywhere
I would just appreciate it if you could wear white
Instead of black
I'm working on it, love
I see you in every mistake
Every stupid joke
And in every Irish accent
I see your face through the tears
And I realize why I loved you so much
You're everywhere
Someone Mar 2015
I know I don't exactly have a way with words,
Its just, when I look at you...
I feel the way waves look when they're crashing.
I can feel my thoughts smashing against each other,
And I can feel my heart racing.
This isn't a love poem,
This is a poem about fear.
You made me feel like the ocean,
And I was acting like a child running to escape the foam.
I was too afraid to swim in the water.
I was too afraid to experience all of what the ocean had to offer,
Because when I did,
When I did finally learn to swim,
I got caught in the undertow.
I tried.
I really,
I took such a long time to get in the water,
And when I did, I couldn't breathe.
I got pulled under.
Please, believe me,
I tried to swim in the same water as you.
I tried to swim to you.
I tried to swim using the very same technique,
I just...
I got pulled under.
Do you believe me?
I did.
The water took me, and swallowed me.
I got thrown against the rocks.
I got caught between the rocks and the ocean floor,
And no one could find me..
I tried to get out,
I tried to swim.
I'm sorry.
I'm still stuck,
Here on this ocean floor.
I'm still trying to get out.
I know you're swimming in different waters now.
I know.
I'm still trying though.
I'm still trying.
  Dec 2014 Someone
I’m an addict


it’s all your fault.

a comfort
that your skin carries


It’s an aphrodisiac, it’s an anesthetic.

I’m addicted to your touch

I’m intoxicated by your embrace

The side effects?

I feel a shuddering in my bones,
my every muscle relaxing,
almost collapsing.

My breath slows to a light drag,
my thoughts become just as soft as your lovely skin.
My every worry is drawn away,
anxiety flows out of my veins.

This is symbiosis;
I release my emotional toxins
and you bestow upon me this ethereal comfort.

Laying between your legs,
my head caressed by your thighs,
my head above your ***,
and my arms wrapped about your gorgeous form,
I get my fix.

I’m an addict, my dear,


please don’t send me away.
I crave those evenings we spend together where I just lie down atop you
Someone Nov 2014
A piece of me died tonight
A physical tearing- The person I once was and the person I am today
I've changed and there's nothing I can do
I thought mothers were supposed to care after their daughters-
Not mine
Tonight, my mother made a choice-
A very definitive one-
Between me and a man
She chose the man
My mother told me that I'd always be her number one
Tonight, she let a man yell at me
Tonight, she let a man hit me
Tonight, she let a man, who is not my father, make me cry
Tonight, she watched a man yell at me, and she sat there
As I saw the violence in his eyes
While she saw the hurt in mine
She chose the man
She later came in my room that night and tried to justify what he'd done
Tried to justify what she had done
"He was just angry"
"You came in at the wrong time"
"You knew better"
But by then it was too late
The separation had already begun
And now I can hear the popping of wine corks
And the sound of a mans fist on my mothers skin
I can hear my sister crying in the room next to me, and I long to hold her
I can hear my dogs yelping and the World stopping
I can hear the unscrewing of a child's lock on a cap of prescription pills,
And I swear to God I can hear the sound of pills being swallowed down my mothers throat
And I have never wished to go deaf before this night
Tonight, my mother chose a man over me
Now its too late for justification,
I have all the answers to anything I'd ever want to know
The confirmation of the fact that I am completely alone-
Is nothing new to me
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