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Nov 2014
A piece of me died tonight
A physical tearing- The person I once was and the person I am today
I've changed and there's nothing I can do
I thought mothers were supposed to care after their daughters-
Not mine
Tonight, my mother made a choice-
A very definitive one-
Between me and a man
She chose the man
My mother told me that I'd always be her number one
Tonight, she let a man yell at me
Tonight, she let a man hit me
Tonight, she let a man, who is not my father, make me cry
Tonight, she watched a man yell at me, and she sat there
As I saw the violence in his eyes
While she saw the hurt in mine
She chose the man
She later came in my room that night and tried to justify what he'd done
Tried to justify what she had done
"He was just angry"
"You came in at the wrong time"
"You knew better"
But by then it was too late
The separation had already begun
And now I can hear the popping of wine corks
And the sound of a mans fist on my mothers skin
I can hear my sister crying in the room next to me, and I long to hold her
I can hear my dogs yelping and the World stopping
I can hear the unscrewing of a child's lock on a cap of prescription pills,
And I swear to God I can hear the sound of pills being swallowed down my mothers throat
And I have never wished to go deaf before this night
Tonight, my mother chose a man over me
Now its too late for justification,
I have all the answers to anything I'd ever want to know
The confirmation of the fact that I am completely alone-
Is nothing new to me
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