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Apr 2015
10.) Do not go searching for him in the bars around your hometown. You will see his face, but not how you remember it. It will be warped, his mouth in the shape of a sly smile, and you will not be able to recognize it. That will destroy you.
9.) Do not drink your sadness away. No matter how hard you try to destroy the way he tastes with the sterilization of alcohol, it will still linger. It will become a stain, and you will be confused, because alcohol is supposed to make you forget. So do your liver a favor.
8.) You will not follow that advice. So when you do drink, keep your phone hidden in the same place you hid the drugs from him. If you don't hide your phone, you will call him and beg for another chance. That chance will come in the form of sloppy kisses and flushed skin. You will wake up the next morning wandering what happened, alone, skin still stinging.
7.) Stop calling him just to hear his voice. He doesn't even think about yours anymore. Stop thinking about the moans he made when he stretched. Stop thinking about the way he whispered "I love you," because when you do, it will lose all of its power, and all you'll be able to focus on was the fact that he never meant a word of it. That will be the moment you start to resent him.
6.) Stop ******* writing about him. It's not even him you write about anymore, he doesn't exist the same way to you. You're writing about how you wish he could be. You're blowing things out of proportion, and you're only hurting yourself. He will never read it. And if he does, all he will do is correct your spelling. So save your paper.
5.) Those pictures you saved? Delete them. The sooner you delete them, the sooner you can forget about his hands. The sooner you can forget about his eyes, which you thought were brown, but you later found out that they change into a brilliant mixture of colors in the sunlight. The sooner you delete the pictures, the sooner you can hopefully scratch every image of his perfection out of your ******* eyes. He still has your pictures. Not the ones you're hoping he still has. The others.
4.) Stop searching for him in every stranger. Stop picking out all the things that resemble him. That man across the street? He has a similar gait. The man walking towards you? He has a similar inquisitive look on his face. You may find the resemblance, but none of them will ever be the same as him. You will never see the same beautiful collarbones again. You will try to paint them. Throw your paint out.
3.) Stop hoping you'll run into him walking on the same trails as you. Yes, those trails house the secrets of your relationship, and yes, you take the time to cherish them. But all he does is walk all over them. He doesn't walk on the trails that have seen your blossoming relationship, he now walks on the pavement, not even a thought lingering in his head any longer. He told you that pavement is bad for your shins, but he doesn't care anymore. So stop walking there. Find a new trail.
2.) When you're laying in bed at night, stop thinking about how he should be laying next to you. Instead, turn his favorite record off and find solace in yourself. Your bed may be empty, but, didn't you feel the very same emptiness even while he was there?
1.) How to forget the man who broke your heart? Well, if you're one of the lucky ones, you'll fall in love with someone who makes you feel like even the universe is small compared to you. This part, well.. this part I'm still trying to figure out. I'll let you know.
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