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Doubt settles.
Internal voices
vicious, vindictive,
confirm contempt.
Laying low,
silently shaking,
catching breaths
beneath the fallout.
Darkness decends,
it's chill envelops
as hope dies eternal
my demise it's final joy.
It's been a while now since,
Whatever we are whenever we are together,
Disappeared, again.
There are no side things this time.
No plan B.
My life is a lot more empty, yes,
indeed.

It's not that complicated,
though my cursed mind must make it so,
It's easy now, being numb, being blank,
Like exhaling after a long deep breath,
at some point it feels like you are drowning underneath
a dry vacuum and still you keep releasing,
'till you don't feel anything
at all.
Tabula Rasa,
baby boo dearest,
how slowly you made me fall.
To a blank slate,
Rising up upon my former fate,
like a black curtain call.
Blissful. No.
Comfortable like,
going back into the womb,
surrounded, worriless,
in a fetal state.
Thank you for everything,
I said.
Not replying,
Was simply your colored place.
 Dec 2014 Stevie Ray
matt
3:46
 Dec 2014 Stevie Ray
matt
some things are out of my hands.
i can speak out.
i can yell.
i have a voice that can be heard.
but I'm not gonna lose it screaming for things i can't change.
Cracked kisses
On blistered lips
Inferno desires

Scorched love
Flames of lust
Funeral pyres

Swollen dreams
Inside ignited minds
Nightmares burn
 Dec 2014 Stevie Ray
Shang
mostly it is the darker days,
   povoking thought.
tracing memories from
   forgotten fingertips.

words silenced.
voices forgotten.
perfect mornings.
  always changing.

    mostly it's the same.

feeling reality,
    fleeing god.

tonight, it's perfectly
clear to me.
i'm sorry.
© Shang
 Dec 2014 Stevie Ray
Creep
Robbery
 Dec 2014 Stevie Ray
Creep
You came in black.
Drenched in black,
encompassing the night into your every move.
Sun or moon for each eye,
stars twinkling your feet
so that you can slip quietly in,
black holes removing all evidence of breaking in.

You crept slowly, surely
grabbing everything you found,
every little
secret, scar, soul shine
into that bag you clung to,
clutching it so that it hung from your back.

You passed my fire place.
Empty, with nothing left but coal and dust.
The fire once there?
Now long extinguished.
You shivered,
and continued looking.

You glanced at the kitchen counter.
Strewn across it were spices
and ripped up shreds of pictures
of all those loved.
Mixed into remnants of
entrees, appetizers, desserts,
too good to be true,
gobbled up too fast,
gone.
You shudder,
continue.

Finally, you find what you're looking for.
In the basement, kept in a safe right by where I slept,
you found it.
You reached towards me,
slowly, silkily took the key I had around my neck
as I sighed at your touch and unconsciously let you take it.

You twisted the key,
opened the safe
and grabbed the
ornately scarred,
worn down wooden
box that was held inside.

You opened the box.
Inside lay a red thing.
It resembled a minuscule
mauled, mangled, mutilated
crimson heart.
You sighed with relief and tossed the box and it's hideous contents into the bag.

You grabbed everything else you found and put it inside your bag.
Some were lead heavy, others too light...
Memories kept too long,
some fading,
some still fresh,
others just too strong of a memory.

You crept quietly away,
but not before you heard me whisper your name.
You looked away
like the coward you are
and left the house.
Smells like Teen Spirit
by Nirvana

D is for Dangerous
by Arctic Monkeys

Billie Jean
By Michael Jackson (but I'm listening to the cover by Breath Carolina)
 Dec 2014 Stevie Ray
Patience
right before I go to bed
a little voice speaks in my head:

"Hello Angel."
I am so scared
I am so scared
I am so scared
 Dec 2014 Stevie Ray
Miki
Tea Time
 Dec 2014 Stevie Ray
Miki
Tea has never tasted
So **** bitter
No amount of
Sugar
Or
Honey
Can drive out
This harsh
Biting taste
That will forever be on my tongue
Because
Of
You
 Dec 2014 Stevie Ray
Devon Webb
I'll make you a
noose of
kisses
around your neck
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