I am a nothing
Merely a wisp in the void
A voice in the wind

Formless and ghostly
What worth can I truly claim
Empty hollow air

Pain or happiness
I am desperate to feel
Apathy is worse

With kindness and love
I am unduly blessed
Ingrate that I am

So vain to deny
Care so oft given to me
Truly a poor fool

Life is very odd
Giving precious gifts to those
Who least deserve them

Mystery it is
But it is not mine to solve
Only to lament

Before me lies darkness beyond compare
An abyssal space, no end in sight

Yet before the pain I can no longer bear
To my eyes arrives a light

Without a form, a concept born of air
It’s outstretched hand I grab, and very tight

For me, this saviour is so rare
I must hold on with all my might

A person? ‘Tis is a title many share
For so long so wrong, now so right

A shroud of misery is no longer what I wear
My change so strong, I could take flight

Though slips into gloom and doom are not so rare
This life of mine is no longer eternal night

If I could count all the stars in the sky
None would be as bright as you are to my eye
A dream I’ve had, a grassy green field on which we lie
Hand in hand, gazes shared no longer shy
Words whispered, no hint of when we’ll say goodbye
The moon hangs high
Just you, me, and the sky

Your name is a song that my heart sings
Our personal symphony
It gives my soul wings
The epitome of harmony
Lyrics of joyful things
I strain to hear more, ambitiously
Of the plucked strings
Which play a tune of felicity

Feelings are an ambrosiac poison
All I want is more
And more
I drink and gulp until it dribbles down my chin
Then I lap up what’s on the floor
Like a desperate dog
Because my belly is a jug
Empty
But that means full of air
The air is polluted
I want it replaced
With hurt
With care
With sadness
With euphoria
With anything
Yet the feelings I consume are artificial at best
Weighing me down like edible lead
As I know their impermanence
And the inevitable repetition of the cycle
Tomorrow my stomach is yet again empty
And I shall scramble to fill it
Defining insanity
In doing the same thing
Hoping for something new

Climbing up my throat
Fingers like spider legs
Choking me from the inside

Heat that builds inside my head
Waiting for my brain to melt
Pouring out of my eyes

The scratching of skin
Biting my lip until it bleeds
Pulling my hair until numb

Angry gnashing teeth
Hot, sorrowful tears
Wails of agony

Maturing in what I do not say
Living in what I do
Manifesting in my every action
Reveling in my every nonaction

Quiet
Loud
Watching
Waiting

My nightmare
My crutch
My curse
My life