Crystal

Crystal Nov 2017

break.

When I told you I wanted to hurt myself again you said
" Please don't" and I replied with
"Why not? The cuts will fade away one day"

You said " The ones on your arm? Sure they will. But not the ones you'll leave on my heart if you do"

I miss that you. The one that cared and loved so hard.

She broke your heart.
So in return you broke mine.

Funny what heartbreak does to people.

Because now I've broken him,
and I am currently watching him break her.
An endless cycle.

Love is stupid.

#him #love

Crystal Nov 2017

My first.

You walked into my life so easy.
I made you apart of me so fast.
You told me you loved me and that we would last forever.
I knew it was a lie, I mean nothing last forever.

You slowly made me pray that you'd be my nothing, and really last forever.
But instead I slowly became nothing to you.

You knew I hadn't done anything with anybody before.
Not only did you come first in my life, but you were my first.
My first kiss, love, and everything else.
You also became the person that broke my heart for the first time.
You did it so simple.
Broke me so easy.
hurt me so hard.
Left me so fast.

Nothing last forever.
Not even your first everything.
because then there is a second, third , fourth, and so on.

I still love you. You are still my nothing. I hope we fix us. I hope you wake up and see it has and always will be you and I.

I don't know who this is about.

#first #love #him #sad #loving #loved #boy #kiss #easy #nothing

Crystal Nov 2017

Slowly...

I allowed the pain to enter me. In hope it would leave, destroy a few things first, of course.
The pain has slowly become me. I do nothing.
I cry and sleep, never eat, few showers a week.
drowning my sorrows in illegal drinks, because you can't drink at 18.
So of course no day drinking. Only day smoking.
Filling my lungs with something that will slowly **** me.
You'd be mad if you knew. My excuse?
You were slowly killing me too.

#Slowly #Him #Dead #Help

Crystal Nov 2017

you.

I just wanted you.
Nothing else.
No one else.
Your lips.
Your hugs.
You. Simply, imperfect you.

You at 3 am
You at 3 pm

It has always been you.

Crystal Oct 2017

5AM.

5 Am.
Another sleepless night.
All because the thought of you won't let me rest.
All beacuse those broken promises get to me.
All beacuse I saved you , while you killed me.
5 AM.
You.
5 AM.
Her.
5 AM.
Us.
Please save me.

Crystal Oct 2017

The R word I can't say...

I screamed.
You liked it.
I cried.
You loved it.
I begged.
You luaghed about it.
I kicked and yelled.
You gripped and moaned.
I said "Please stop."
You said " Oh hell no"
I tried to leave.
You pinned me down, inserting yourself in me without permission. Can't get that vison of you on me , in me, out of me.
I told somebody
They said " I bet you asked for it"
.....

-You took all of me.

2 years and it still hurts.

#imoverot

Crystal Oct 2017

Poor boy.

You came to me so lost.
So unsure of yourself.
Poor little broken boy.
Shes only using you.
You don't see it, but I do.
She is doing what you did to me.
Slowly killing you.
Drowning you with lie after lie.
Every I love you , I need you, and I miss you. Said with no feeling.
And every "forever us" said with no intention of staying at all.
Broken. How you left me.
Broken, how you've been your entire life.
Lost, not knowing how to love because you have no love at all. Not even for yourself.
Poor boy.
So lost.
Slowly dying.
Slowly losing control.
You poor little lost soul.

I can't save you. It's to late.
I'm not sorry.

Know yourself boy.

#sad #love #left #care #broken #lost