it had been so long , hope had started waning , wished for you my entire life . the nights spent awake till dawn broke , crying under the blankets to be protected from this world , willing for you to turn into a reality with the full force of my entire being . dreamt for you with eyes wide awake , on lonely walks through the grey corridors or a stroll into the woods , searching for you , waiting for you , it started to seem like you couldn't exist outside my imagination . the cigarettes burnt in the dead of the night in cold bathrooms , staring at my own reflection in a pool of water , disgusted, the breeze of the night soothing the burns of my soul .
then suddenly you arrived , unexpected , uprooting everything , chaotic beautiful , all efforts to keep you out for the sake of fears deep seated trampled down by your love as the flowers growing by the roadsides must have been murdered as the great armies would have marched by at the behest of their leaders , on their way to sacrifice their lives  . i knew my dream was now a reality,  and magic existed in our  world when i saw you laugh , when i saw you laugh because of me , when you called me yours for the first time , when you told me i had healed you and when you looked into my eyes and spoke ' i love you ' .
i knew then , love exists and you had come for me  . i knew then i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and create infinite infinities . i knew then i loved you and i would love you even after this universe met it's end .
i love you .

"What,  you just love me
and then move on..
is that what you do?"
They weren't steps away from her
they were paces

and in an instant, the arrow flew

There is a seam,  
if you are able to see
as there are terracotta dreams
from which

we were  all  meant to be freed

Broken shards  fell to the ground
and inside of every single piece

     is all of the 'hers'
     she thinks that  she needs to be

Not sure if it is the aim
or  the flight  of the arrow
that brings about the aloneness
of an unspeakable,  heart sorrow
and these.. the sufferings of hell.

     Chloe is not dead--
     because  left standing
     when all else fell
     is her spirit's core,  now glowing;

     ..no longer hidden  
     within the confines
     of her terracotta shell.

Ah, beautiful Chloe
baby, there were times..

                remember knowing?
      The water-well;
      ..its  never-ending flowing.

      Believe again in that, my beautiful

              not  the shell.
--Anything is better than this hatred.

         I'm looking forward  to
         an eternity, spent in hell.