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Grief is the beginning of
Realizing that you still exist
I like to fall in love with strangers
Because it teaches me to be
Comfortable in the idea of giving a
Piece of myself to someone new

I’m no stranger to disappointment
And I know this takes a lot of trust
But I’ll never see them again
So, I know they won’t let me down
 Jul 2015 Secret Poet
Leyla Jude
Everytime you open your stupid mouth
I just want to stab you with knives
Each time I see your face I feel sick
Oh how I wish you could end in the Styx
It's not hate it's just pure disgust
You only deserve to bite the dust
Yes you were once important in my life
But that was before I thought twice
Now I'm finally moving on
You're nothing more than an old vision
 Jul 2015 Secret Poet
Leyla Jude
My heart was covered by ice
Now it has melted cause of lies
And I realize what's under it
Is way too weak
I had never cried
Now my pillow shines bright
I used to be strong
Now I feel like in these stupid songs
I've got knives in my chest
My throat is all compressed
It's so hard to keep breathing
I guess I just started what's called living
 Jul 2015 Secret Poet
Leyla Jude
I'm lost between what I feel and what I think

Between what seems good and what seems right

I don't know where I'm going even less where I'm from

I don't know who I am or who I should be, I just have no idea
 Jul 2015 Secret Poet
Paige
Remember
 Jul 2015 Secret Poet
Paige
I can't say I remember the first
time we met.
Because we were both just passing
through.
But I do remember the first
time I remembered you.
It was a week before my 18th
birthday and we all jammed into
my sisters tiny 4 door
Corsica.
It was you, me, my sister,
Josh and Cameryn.
We made these plans the day before.
I was sitting in the middle,
in the back seat and you were
on my left.
You were so opposite of what
everyone said you were.
You were funny, but reserved,
we kept sharing cigarettes,
and you'd throw the butts
out of the window.
You were smoking L&M;
Turkish blend.
I, of course, Camels.
You and josh opened the back doors,
as the car was moving and
pretended you were going
to fall out.
You were crazy.
And exciting.
We went to the head shop in
Oxford and you made little jokes
at me because I wasn't old enough
yet to look at the bowls.
You bought some cigars and
a wooden pipe
and started smoking from both.
We all had ice cream at the UDF,
before we headed back,
passing packed bowls back and forth
around the car.
That was the first time I felt
that feeling around you.
That day.
When we took you home that night,
all I wanted to do was gush to
my sister about how great you were.
But I didn't.
I just couldn't stop telling
myself instead.
She lived in a tiny cottage
On top of a sea-bound bluff,
Looked down on the cold blue waters
In fair weather, and in rough,
The smoke that curled from her chimney piece
Was snatched away by the wind
So couldn’t obscure the window where
She stood, and her eyes were pinned.

She saw the gaggle of soldiers
Rise up, and out of the marsh,
And remembered a past encounter,
Their treatment of her was harsh,
She snipped the lock on the window, then
She hurried to bar the door,
Raised the trap to the cellar, and
Slid down to the cellar floor.

She lay in hopes they would pass on by,
Would ignore her humble home,
Would think that there was a man nearby
Not a woman there, alone,
She knew of the fate of others who
Had invited the soldiers in,
For many a soldier’s bairn was born
The result of a soldier’s sin.

She heard them muttering round the house
And tapping the window pane,
Beating a tattoo on the door
Till she thought she’d go insane,
They’d seen the smoke from her chimney piece
And they called, ‘Hey you inside,
We need to shelter the night at least,
It’s wintry here outside.’

But still she lay on the cellar floor
As quiet as any mouse,
She wasn’t going to let them in
To her tiny little house,
She heard the crash as the timber gave
Away on her cottage door,
And heard the thump of their feet above
As they stomped across her floor.

She heard the sound of their puzzlement
When they found the cottage bare,
‘Somebody must have lit the fire,
But now, they’re just not there.’
She heard them smashing her crockery
And drinking beer from her ***,
She never had enough food to spare
But she knew they’d eat the lot.

Down below was a musket that
She’d kept well oiled and cleaned,
Along with a horn of powder that
She’d felt worthwhile redeemed,
She found the shot and she rammed it home
There was nothing left to chance,
The first to open that trapdoor would
Begin his final dance.

The night came on and they settled down,
Above, she could hear them snore,
She wondered whether they’d go away
When the sun came up, once more,
But then, sometime in the early hours
She heard the trapdoor creak,
And a pair of eyes were hypnotised
As they saw the musket speak.

There once was a tiny cottage
On top of a sea-bound bluff,
It’s now burnt out, just a shell without
A roof or a door, it’s rough,
While down in the cold blue waters
Lies a woman, drowned and dead,
And up on the bluff, a soldier’s grave,
Buried, without a head.

David Lewis Paget
 Jul 2015 Secret Poet
Havran
You
are my morning song,
and my favorite evening lullaby.
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