It’s been almost a year since I cursed your name to the heavens and praised your tongue to hell.
It’s been almost a week and I still can’t admit that I was in
full control when I swung out against the wall
to feel my knuckles break;
the skin uncurling the same as the chipped paint;
my blood mixing in cherry red.

I’ve been learning that hearts don’t break like fingers;
I still jump at the sound of doors slamming;
Your words piece together in my poems.
My shuddering ribs quake with every desperate scream.
I feel out-of-body sometimes.
It was cruel; and I hate you,
but my heart still beats too hard
and my fist is bandaged.

Bruises blossom like fingerprints.
Goosebumps brush over me like open-mouthed kisses.

The stars knew all, you swore to me;
and like a child
you watched with widened eyes and flushed cheeks.
Wished on a comet for eternity.
We argued about immortality
As I would get lonely,
but you longed for silent solitude.
If we were never meant to be,
You still believed.

It still hurts,
but god,
do I love you
like the sky opening up in anguish
to torrent upon the scarred land; to flood the paradise Eden;
All of the promises bleeding out
from between my crossed fingers.

Unworthy, so unworthy,

Yet You held our lives so dearly,

I'm safe and sound in Your love and Your grace,

Oh, what other love, could ever replace?

Unworthy, so unworthy,

Yet You gave us life and showed us Your glory,

I'm wrapped in Your mercy's embrace,

Oh, what have I done, to see Your love's trace?