When I’m with you I’m in Utopia
But nothing is as perfect as it seems.
Cause after all the euphoria,
You see that it’s a nightmare, not a dream

You only realize that you were happy,
Once the moment passes
But when you look back, then you’ll see
That those memories always lasts

My friends can’t see
That I’m full of anxiety
My mom doesn’t notice
the true reality

All my laughs feel fake
And any moment I’m about to break
To you, I may seem normal
But inside I’m in turmoil

My mind is full of darkness
And my heart is full of cowardness
How do I get repaired
When I feel so impaired

My dreams seem like a distant worry
When tomorrow seems so dreary
I have all these burdens.
And every day it worsens

I am what you cannot perceive.
Everyone is under the deceive
That I take life in a stride.
But the real me is drowning inside

I hate it when the days are too sunny
Under the glaring light, I can’t see
And in the constant heat, I get dizzy
But that’s just me

I don’t want to be the only one
The one outcast in the crowd
So I do what everyone wants to be done
And never say my opinions out loud

I always say what they want to hear
I always smile at what they say
Sometimes I feel like they’re my puppeteer
And I get tired of doing it every day

Why do I feel like I have no control?
I want to love myself
My body, my mind, and my soul
But I feel like I should be like everybody else

Life feels like a challenge
Do I want to have fun or win?
It’s hard to find a balance
Where do I begin?

I love it when the days are foggy
There's comfort in the tranquility.
It when my thoughts aren’t as cloudy
And when I’m not as full of uncertainty
I know that I’m different from you
I may not be what you want me to be
And I might have a different type of view
But that’s just me